A Way of Healthy Life

Last month was absolutely crazy!  I got sick with an upper respiratory infection and a sinus infection, knocked me on my butt for at least a week. I admit, while in bed I didn't really eat more than Cheerios. Yup, you heard me correct I ate cheerios. I know my paleo, no grains, gluten-free readers are in shock and disbelief right now, but as I mentioned in my last post, I reached a point where what I had been doing wasn't working and I was miserable. Time for a change.

After a year with no results and being unhappy
I knew it was time to take action for my future

I was searching for a way of eating that would allow me to eat a more balanced way of life. Something that would hold me accountable for how much I eat. Something that would allow me to have the occasional indulgence. Most importantly, I wanted something I could do forever. I know there will never come a time I don't have to watch how much or what I eat, but maybe there is a way to have it all and enjoy it and be healthy and lose weight.

I admit I am guilty of this when I deprive myself

That way of thinking lead me back to my original weight loss time, years ago... Weight Watchers!! I did some googling and found that the program changed since I did it last and now the points weren't just about calories, but also took into consideration protein, fiber, and fat and the roles they play. I was still debating to spend the money or not and saw they were running a promotion, no registration fee and a neat little starter package if I signed up for 3 months. I decided with my time being all over the place I would sign up for online only to make it work with my life. I was feeling truly excited for the first time in a LONG time!

This is what my food selection for today looks like.
So may delicious foods I can eat and enjoy
And I still have 5 points left for dessert later if I want

That was a little over a week ago, so how was the first week you are wondering... AMAZING! The phone app has made it so easy to track and check food points. Grocery shopping became more like a game, I walked around the aisles with the app and scanned bar codes to see how many points the food item was. The last week I have enjoyed, Morningstar Farms Chik patties, Sara Lee bread, Fiber One bars for dessert, and ground chicken in my delicious salads.

This was delicious! Eggo, chicken sausage, and egg whites

So easy to make delicious and filling foods

I had my first weigh-in this past Wednesday. I didn't think I lost anything with the yummy food I was eating, lack of exercise, and stressful weekend (more to come on that), but I did indeed have a loss of .6.  I know it doesn't seem like much, but for someone who hasn't seen a loss in a long time and just spent the week enjoying food and not stressing, that loss was very exciting for me.

I will keep you updated of my Weight Watchers fun and promise to post all my yummy food finds.

This is a way of life, not a temporary diet!! 

I Can If I Want

My last post "My Relationship with Food" was about my freedom from food. My plan is to stop eliminating almost all food groups and to start incorporating foods back into my eating habits that I haven't eaten in YEARS to see how my body reacts.

No more diets, just me eating healthy food choices 
and enjoying occasional treats without guilt
http://freedombeautyhappiness.com/222/

Since it has only been a few days since my mind shift and eating habits happened I know it will take longer to really see how things are progressing for me, but a lot has already changed and I wanted to update everyone.  After that blog post, I gave myself permission to eat. To live my life and enjoy. To not stress over every single food option. To not panic at the thought of eating out. To not freak out if I ate too much. To not listen to everyone else tell me what I should or should not be eating. I went to bed that night with those last thoughts. I woke up Saturday morning and the only word I could use to describe my feeling in that moment is FREEDOM. I was free; from myself, judgment, criticism, fear of failure, stress of eating, and the feeling of lacking.

For a brief moment this is exactly how I felt,
but then I remembered it's not just weight loss, but my health

I also decided that to keep myself still in check a little, I would start tracking again on myfitnesspal. So I made my goal any where between 1200-1300 calories and I added carbs back into my calculations. I had a delicious breakfast and then went off shopping. I felt giddy almost at this fresh start. Later that day at my parent's house I enjoyed some yummy food...nope I didn't everything in site but I did enjoy every piece that went into my mouth and enjoyed having energy to run around outside and play with my nieces, it was finally a nice spring day outside.

I had energy!
First time in a long time I wasn't being Aunt Cin, the lump on the couch taking a nap
I can't wait for more days like this

Sunday was brunch in the morning with a girlfriend of mine, we try to meet once a month to always keep updated and just laugh like school girls. There I was with the menu in my hands, thinking well I gave myself permission, I can eat anything on this menu I want. Drum roll....what did I get......2 eggs overeasy with a side of veggies and some bacon. I didn't feel deprived at all. It was so yummy and I picked it because that is what I wanted and I knew I would feel good after eating it.

Sunday afternoon I ended up spending the day with the man in my life and his 9 year old son. The time flew!! I didn't even realize how long it had been since I last ate anything because we were running around having a blast. Then, it happened, as I was running around with the 9 year old, his dad said I ordered a pizza for dinner should be here in 45 minutes.  Ummm, ut oh. I haven't had pizza in over 2 years. It was a forbidden food. Should I ask him to call back and order me a salad with dressing on the side by only oil and vinegar because who knows what is in the other dressings? Should I just say I am not hungry and starve? Those thoughts quickly went through my mind as if I was programmed to think like that. Then they went away, I felt an instant calm and thought just enjoy it. Have a slice of pizza, not the entire pie, but a slice. Not every day, but tonight is okay. The pizza arrived. I may have actually been drooling at the smell of it. He ordered a Hawaiian pizza (his son's favorite). There I was pizza to lips, I could hear my mom saying, don't do it. I could hear years of my own training saying are you CRAZY women it's PIZZA!  I did it, I took a bite of the pizza and smiled. I looked over to the 9 year old who said isn't it delicious with a huge smile on his face and I couldn't have agreed more. I had 2 slices of pizza and appreciated and loved every bite of it. I was stuffed for the rest of the night and slept better than I have in ages. I know the pizza didn't cause me to sleep better, but I didn't feel bad or stressed or deprived at all. I felt good, I had an amazing wonderful day that included pizza.

Shout out to my blog friend Gwen who writes The Sunny Coconut . She recently wrote a post called S Foods; it was about how everyone's body reacts different to different foods. I highly recommend checking it out, I enjoyed reading it and completely agree!!  I know I will never be able to eat a couple of chips and put the bag away, but I can eat a piece of chocolate and be satisfied. What are your trigger foods that you avoid?

My Relationship with Food

For as long as I can remember I had a love/hate relationship with food. I have been dieting since I was a teenager. As I mentioned in a previous post I have tried almost every diet in some way or another. The outcome...usually some weight loss followed by a binge event and lots of weight gain and then a struggle to lose it again. Sound familiar? I have a feeling I am not alone.

Starving and deprived is usually how I feel
https://slimdownwithsandee.wordpress.com/

Last Saturday was my birthday, I am now 32 years old. At 32 I still struggle with my weight and food relationship like I did at 13. When I had that realization I came to the conclusion it is time to fix my relationship with food. No more diets. No more beating myself up. Time to grow up and learn.

Time to find a better relationship..
the one where I am in tune and honest with myself

My first step was to think back about all my past successes and failures. I found a common denominator. I told myself over and over again "you can't have that". Sometimes it was about steak, cereal, chips, sweet potatoes, low carb, low fat, high fat, you name it. At one point or another a certain food group was kicked out of my life. Until, I had enough and would binge completely out on that food or just any food from restricting intake too much. It was like I was teaching myself a lesson, you can't tell me I can't have something, ha and wow I am so starving!

Usually I eat the salad...
and then wake up in the middle of the night and eat the cakehttps://slimdownwithsandee.wordpress.com/

Well no more, this is me making peace with food. Food is what fuels my body. I am not saying I plan on eating cake and cookies all the time...yuck, or even that I plan on living on steak. I want to find a happy middle group. I want to not feel starved half the time. I want to finally show myself that at 32 I have found peace and balance in myself. I will probably always watch my sugar intake and eat lower than most carbs, but that's is because I know my body can't handle too much. However, I will have a sweet potato when I feel like it, maybe half not whole. I will have an apple, if I get the urge. I will eat my burgers, off the bun, because to me the bun is a waste not because of some diet I am following. I will teach myself portion control so that I can enjoy food without listing them as off-limits. I will not be afraid to go out with friends and eat at restaurants. I will allow myself to taste a cupcake if I want to, taste...not devour!

I love steak, but there is just so much you can eat
before craving other foods

I know I sound like this is easy, but I know it's not. It's been a battle for so long, I know it will take time, patience, and self-love to conquer this. I want this for myself, my future, my health, my peace of mind.

I will keep everyone updated and hope you support my ups and downs of food choices. I won't hide anything or pretend that I didn't eat cheerios a few moments ago (they tasted absolutely amazing). This is me being real with you and myself!!!

DELICIOUS!!
(Mom if you are reading this, stop shaking your head and I love you)

Support and Love Yourself

The other night I met up with one of my best friends. She and I have known each other since we were kids. I'm pretty sure we have tried every diet, gym, and cookie together. She is currently pregnant with baby #2, yes I am very excited to start baby shopping, and she started talking to me about losing weight after she has the baby especially since she didn't lose the weight from baby #1. I told her she had a partner in me. We could meet up after work and go for walks, come up with fun healthy food ideas, and be each other's biggest weight loss cheerleaders. There was no way I was letting her leave that night feeling bad about herself or doubting her ability to take off the weight and I meant every word of it.

I've got your back and will crop your muffin top too
http://hundredsofhilariouspics.com/

I've been thinking a lot since that night...how come I can be there for everyone cheering them on and encouraging them, not letting them feel bad about themselves for one second, but when it comes to myself I constantly beat myself up and put myself down for not having the body I want right now, for not working out longer and harder, for not eating every meal perfect. What type of friend am I to myself? Not a very good one. I'm actually very hard on myself and instead of encouraging I put myself further down. The truth is, sure I would love to have more tone and muscle and be able to wear a bikini, but I'm also not so bad the way I am now, there is a lot I do like about myself. Even more important, I never give up. I constantly pick myself up and try harder. I think that makes me pretty badass actually.

Love yourself!

So, from now on, I'm going to be my friend. When I feel bad about something, I will remind myself I will do better next time. I will remind myself of how far I have come and all of the other really great things about me. I will talk to myself like I would talk to anyone I care about, honest and with kind words. Turns out, I like me, what the scale says doesn't change that.

Your soul hears you, so speak with love

Having a great support system really does make a huge difference in all areas of life, but without your own support and self love can you really ever become the best version of you? I don't think so.

To my online friends reading this, you have a friend in me and I am reminding you to love yourself and never give up on you.  HUGS!

My nieces don't care what size my pants are or what the scale says,
they love me for me and I love them!

Fun, Food, and Travel

The last few weeks have been so much fun. I don't get to check out new places very often, but when I do I enjoy every moment of it. I will admit now that I watch what I eat it has become a bit more of a challenge, not impossible, but a challenge.

View from hotel room in Atlantic City

My first adventure was being able to meet a friend of mine in Atlantic City. I have only been to Atlantic City for work purposes, so when the opportunity came to just go and enjoy and have fun I was definitely saying count me in. I took the day off from work and headed down. I felt like a kid the entire drive down so excited.

Me, hanging out on the bay side of Atlantic City
Luckily it wasn't too chilly out and the sun was shining

My friend had been there numerous other times and was insistent that we had to eat dinner at Carmines, which according to my co-workers, had the most amazing food! We got to Carmines and I soon found out it was family style eating, which means giant portions you share. Hmmm, I felt bad. My friend was looking at chicken parm and pasta dishes and I was all hey how about steak. Luckily, he understood my food concerns and was happy to order the steak. We ordered a porterhouse steak, that came with sausage and peppers and little potatoes. When the waiter brought out dinner, I thought wow are there 10 other people joining us. The portion was HUGE!! I took one bite and was in heaven.

This photo doesn't even do the size of the portion justice!
We left with a lot of delicious leftovers

The hard part came after when he ordered dessert. I have really avoided sugar and carbs and anything not meat-like, but thought I don't get to go out like this often and really just enjoy so I went with it. He ordered us the tiramisu. I knew I would regret it tomorrow, but I dug in any way. Delicious, is not even good enough to describe what this tasted like. I had never had tiramisu before and now wish I knew about it when I didn't struggle with weight loss so much :)  Anyway, after a few classes of wine and much fun we bundled up and walked along the boardwalk a little, I was happy because I got all my Fitbit steps in.  We then called it a night and headed back to the hotel. I know I shouldn't have had dessert, but I have no regrets what a wonderful, fun evening. I did have a little headache the next day, but no regrets.

We even got to catch a very peaceful and beautiful sunset

The second adventure was heading to NYC with my family to see the Spring Spectacular show at Radio City Music Hall. We piled in my dad's car and headed in, not sure who was more excited, the grownups or my nieces. There faces when we got out of the car was priceless. Looking at all the tall buildings, lights, and people; it's good thing they love adventures just like we do. We walked around the city for a little and then headed into the show. By then I was hungry, but not willing to give into eating any of the food that they offered at the concession stands. Truthfully, if I was by myself I would have gotten something, but with my mom and sister so close I felt like a failure if I gave in. One of the few times I didn't bring my own snack and I regretted it. I later realized when I was finally home and starving and eating everything in my fridge, I should have just had a little something and then I wouldn't have been hunger crazed later...lesson learned.

Us girls having fun in the back, while the guys had fun upfront

The show was truly wonderful, it was a magical day with my family. It was even more fun that we got to do our first show together. I love visiting the City, but there is no place like home.

My nieces even found time to do my hair and nails
Love these girls!

Happy Aunt Cindy

Next adventure is in April, we are going away on vacation for a few days to the Poconos. This will also include, Passover, Easter, and 3 birthdays (hint: one of them is mine). I also plan on bringing some of my own snacks this time to be fully prepared!!

Keep Moving...The FitBit Way

Once again I have slacked with my blog posts, but I am back! I think winter is leaving me a little uninspired. I am ready for summer and sunshine. The only downside to summer and sunshine is less clothing, so of course my mission to better health and weight loss is never far from my mind even in winter.

Winter is pretty, but I am ready for warm spring and summer weather

I've been maintaining for the most part, but it really is time to push forward. I recently started getting up early again to fit in a morning workout, I have to admit I missed those workouts, so I am glad to start that habit back up. I haven't been able to hit the gym as much with a busy and weird schedule, but I always try and do some sort of workout and of course I track my food intake with MyFitnessPal.

Do not listen to your sweat pants, they can not help you in the summer!

The biggest push to keep moving, even when all I want is my couch, actually is coming from around my wrist. Huh? You say.  Let me explain. A few months back my mom got a FitBit Charge and loved it!! My dad went out and picked up 3 more the next day; one for me, one for my sister, and one for himself. The family that FitBit together stays healthy together!

If you are looking for a little motivation and a fun way to track yourself, I highly recommend a FitBit. I have the Charge model, It has a neat display that will show me calories burned, steps, stairs, miles, and yes even the time. There is an option to wear it at night to track your sleep, but I was so busy thinking about sleeping that I didn't, whoops.  It has a neat app for my phone that tracks everything and I can sync it with MyFitnessPal to see how I am doing with my food intake.

FitBit Charge
It's lightweight and very comfortable to wear
Website: www.fitbit.com for details and other models

We all have different goals set, but keep each other motivated. Now instead of being lazy some Saturdays I find myself walking around with my mom and sister in the backyard. I can't even imagine what the neighbors think watching us walking, high stepping and twirling. Doing it together makes it way more fun.

Ha it's like my mom when I don't reach my FitBit goal for the day
Love you mom!

I recently upped my goal from 1600 calories burned a day to 1800 calories burned a day. Now this may seem easy, but when you have a full time desk job and a couch to go home too, it's actually more of a challenge than I thought. It really does have me moving around more. I get up from desk and walk around, I started using the printer on the other side of the building, I take the stairs and sometimes I just march in my office. Luckily my boss has a FitBit as well and knows I am not losing my mind, he even joins me some days.

FitBit Charge showing my calorie burn from yesterday.
Way better now that I remind myself to move more!

I see a shopping spree in the next few months for some cute summer clothes, because mine from last year are going to be too big on me this year!! Thank you FitBit for keeping me motivated and moving and thank you to my mom, dad and sister for their constant support and encouragement.  I love you guys!

Family = Best support team!
 I also want to be a good role model for my nieces

**I am not affiliated with the FitBit company in any way. 

I just love the product and wanted to share! **

Social Media and Healthy Tips

Instagram. Even if you don't use it, I would bet you have heard of it. I know I did for the longest time and for the longest time said I don't get it and why should I join when I already use Facebook and Twitter.....until now.

So many social media options!!

A few months ago a friend would only post on Instagram and I wanted to see the pictures she was posting so I joined. Thinking it was only for seeing a few people's pictures and that was all, imagine my surprise when as I started playing around more I found so many people posting about recipes, workouts, outfits, hair, weight loss. It was this whole other world I felt like I discovered and now enjoy very much. 

I follow some incredible people on Instagram, Twitter, g+, just to name a few sites, who have taken charge of their health and weight loss and documented step by step. I've really enjoyed seeing the different types of food people are are eating, and getting ideas for myself to make, but most importantly I started noticing how much or should I say how little they were eating. It got me thinking about my meals.

Some days it's like this.....

Just my size...what too much?
But if I take it off the bun it's low carb

Other days...

Oh you used up all your calories by dinner time...
too bad, now starve!

My calories and numbers say I am eating fine, but as you know I'm not dropping any more weight. When I think about my portion size I realize I'm not connecting to my stomach, I am connecting with my numbers. If I calculate I can have so many calories per meal you can bet your butt I am eating that amount even if I feel full. I am going to try and give my brain a rest from counting for a little and give my stomach and body a chance to speak. If I am stuffed, stop eating and if I am hungry I should eat. I know this may seem like common sense to some, but if you have dieted in the past and had a similar health journey like me then you know exactly what I am talking about. We are just hard wired different, but that doesn't mean we can't reprogram ourselves.  I am still going to make healthy choices and keep myself in check, but maybe knowing exact calorie and carb count isn't necessary.

My new plan for success

Hopefully I have some great weight loss and feeling good results to share soon.