Non Scale Victories

Sorry for the delayed update, but I got some major downtime last week and took it! When I could sit on the couch and do nothing I did just that, and enjoyed every second of it. Now that I'm done being lazy it's time for an update.

At my Weight Watchers weigh-in last week the scale went up .8. Now, I must say it was expected. The biggest reason being it was the time of the month most women's scales go up. Nothing I can do about that but go with it. I will admit that even though I was expecting the numbers to be up it was still disappointing to see. I was bummed. Went into an old way of thinking that I call panic mode. Should I change up, should I stop eating carbs, did I go off my paleo-type eating, should I not eat my weeklies, maybe Weight Watchers doesn't work....

Slow and steady wins the race. Weight Watchers is teaching me how to eat for life for success. 

Meeting time..and I'm so happy I stayed. I listened to the many victories of the week, instead of feeling bad because I didn't have a scale victory it was a reminder to me to trust the program. Stick with it. No need for panic mode. All these people telling their victory of the week stories, soon I will be one of them. Plus when I shared how bummed I felt, I received so much support and some new ideas from the group. One person suggested keeping nail polish by my couch in case I get the night time munchies. If my nails are wet, I can't eat. As the meeting went on my leader started talking about non-scale victories and it really got me thinking of my own personal victories of the week not related to the scale, but still victories. 

The scale can only tell you numbers

The biggest for me being for the first time in months and months I didn't binge, not even one night. I've said it before and admit it fully, I am an emotional eater. Last week I didn't eat my emotions. If I was going through something I wrote about it in my journal, went to bed when I was tired, calmed myself down with walking around my condo, admitted to how I was feeling and was honest with myself. Once I realized that success I cheered myself on repeating to myself I didn't binge!! Huge success in my book and just because the scale didn't show me numbers I wanted to see I still consider my last week a huge success and I'm so proud of myself! 

Saw this on huffingtonpost.com and it's the truth. I will stick with the original problem and deal with it!

Never forget your non scale victories!!!  I'm definitely hoping for some scale victories soon, but for now I will take my non scale victories and be happy with them. Please feel free to share your stories with me. I've recently started a Facebook page called Healthy Living with Cindy. Come join me and let's support each other. 

Weight Watchers Wednesday

Absolutely wonderful! Fabulous! Best decision ever! What am I talking about you ask?? The Weight Watchers meeting I attended Wednesday night. I loved it from the second I walked into the room. Everyone made me feel very welcomed and excited to be there. The leader, Val, met with the newbies before the meeting to go over the plan and tell us about herself. She lost 135 lbs with Weight Watchers. Very inspiring. When I told Val that I had tried Weight Watchers in the past, but gave up, she smiled and looked at me and said "welcome home". That is exactly how I felt.

Lots of fun new information provided at the meeting!

Just in case I had any doubt, that nights meeting was based on emotional eating! Yup I was definitely in the right place. I felt so comfortable with Val and the entire group that I spoke up and shared my most recent battles with emotional eating and jars of peanut butter. Not one person in that room looked at me like I was crazy or weak. They laughed with me as I rehashed my looking at the bottom of many empty jars stories, and went on to share their stories as well.

From the WeightWatchers.com website
After one meeting I can confirm all of this!

I'm so glad I decided to switch my membership to attend meetings. I can't wait to conquer the weekend of eating and go back next Wednesday night to see Val and all my new friends.

 I purchased these from the meeting. They collapse so small I keep them in my purse
Now I am always prepared!

21 Day Fix....Week 2 Done

I survived week 2 of 21 Day Fix and I have to admit, I love the workouts!  Well I don't love them while doing it, but I love the feeling I get after the workout. I'm out of breath and sweating and feeling so good about myself. I even enjoy the next day when my muscles are slightly sore. Sometimes I am sore in places I didn't even know muscles existed. I'm even thinking I might have to increase my weights soon. Ha, didn't see that happening any time soon.  

My current weights...I think it's time to up the numbers

However, it is time to step up my game. When I started 2 weeks ago I decided to not do the eating plan. I thought eh I got the eating stuff handled. Turns out, I don't really. Feel free to read back to my post about peanut butter. So I have decided to do the full program including meal plan. The plan is actually pretty neat and seems easy enough to follow. 

So excited to start this meal plan...and no counting calories! 

You get colors containers and each container goes with a good group...Green is for vegetables, red is for protein..etc. Depending on your weight you are allowed to have a certain number of each contain a day. I have already discovered my portions were a little out of whack, and that is with only trying it for a day.  This could be very eye opening. I also like that it is teaching me how to eventually be able to eyeball portions without containers, measuring, or scales!

My container friends for 21 Day Fix
No counting calories and well rounded meals and snacks.

I am super excited to see how amazing my body does putting the workouts and the meal plan together. The goal is always to  better my health for now and the long term and to feel good, but come on let's be honest...warm weather, shorts, and bathing suit season is around the corner! I would like very much to look amazing in those shorts and feel confident in my bathing suits. 

Bring it on 21 Day Fix!! I got this! 

My Relationship with Food

For as long as I can remember I had a love/hate relationship with food. I have been dieting since I was a teenager. As I mentioned in a previous post I have tried almost every diet in some way or another. The outcome...usually some weight loss followed by a binge event and lots of weight gain and then a struggle to lose it again. Sound familiar? I have a feeling I am not alone.

Starving and deprived is usually how I feel
https://slimdownwithsandee.wordpress.com/

Last Saturday was my birthday, I am now 32 years old. At 32 I still struggle with my weight and food relationship like I did at 13. When I had that realization I came to the conclusion it is time to fix my relationship with food. No more diets. No more beating myself up. Time to grow up and learn.

Time to find a better relationship..
the one where I am in tune and honest with myself

My first step was to think back about all my past successes and failures. I found a common denominator. I told myself over and over again "you can't have that". Sometimes it was about steak, cereal, chips, sweet potatoes, low carb, low fat, high fat, you name it. At one point or another a certain food group was kicked out of my life. Until, I had enough and would binge completely out on that food or just any food from restricting intake too much. It was like I was teaching myself a lesson, you can't tell me I can't have something, ha and wow I am so starving!

Usually I eat the salad...
and then wake up in the middle of the night and eat the cakehttps://slimdownwithsandee.wordpress.com/

Well no more, this is me making peace with food. Food is what fuels my body. I am not saying I plan on eating cake and cookies all the time...yuck, or even that I plan on living on steak. I want to find a happy middle group. I want to not feel starved half the time. I want to finally show myself that at 32 I have found peace and balance in myself. I will probably always watch my sugar intake and eat lower than most carbs, but that's is because I know my body can't handle too much. However, I will have a sweet potato when I feel like it, maybe half not whole. I will have an apple, if I get the urge. I will eat my burgers, off the bun, because to me the bun is a waste not because of some diet I am following. I will teach myself portion control so that I can enjoy food without listing them as off-limits. I will not be afraid to go out with friends and eat at restaurants. I will allow myself to taste a cupcake if I want to, taste...not devour!

I love steak, but there is just so much you can eat
before craving other foods

I know I sound like this is easy, but I know it's not. It's been a battle for so long, I know it will take time, patience, and self-love to conquer this. I want this for myself, my future, my health, my peace of mind.

I will keep everyone updated and hope you support my ups and downs of food choices. I won't hide anything or pretend that I didn't eat cheerios a few moments ago (they tasted absolutely amazing). This is me being real with you and myself!!!

DELICIOUS!!
(Mom if you are reading this, stop shaking your head and I love you)

Support and Love Yourself

The other night I met up with one of my best friends. She and I have known each other since we were kids. I'm pretty sure we have tried every diet, gym, and cookie together. She is currently pregnant with baby #2, yes I am very excited to start baby shopping, and she started talking to me about losing weight after she has the baby especially since she didn't lose the weight from baby #1. I told her she had a partner in me. We could meet up after work and go for walks, come up with fun healthy food ideas, and be each other's biggest weight loss cheerleaders. There was no way I was letting her leave that night feeling bad about herself or doubting her ability to take off the weight and I meant every word of it.

I've got your back and will crop your muffin top too
http://hundredsofhilariouspics.com/

I've been thinking a lot since that night...how come I can be there for everyone cheering them on and encouraging them, not letting them feel bad about themselves for one second, but when it comes to myself I constantly beat myself up and put myself down for not having the body I want right now, for not working out longer and harder, for not eating every meal perfect. What type of friend am I to myself? Not a very good one. I'm actually very hard on myself and instead of encouraging I put myself further down. The truth is, sure I would love to have more tone and muscle and be able to wear a bikini, but I'm also not so bad the way I am now, there is a lot I do like about myself. Even more important, I never give up. I constantly pick myself up and try harder. I think that makes me pretty badass actually.

Love yourself!

So, from now on, I'm going to be my friend. When I feel bad about something, I will remind myself I will do better next time. I will remind myself of how far I have come and all of the other really great things about me. I will talk to myself like I would talk to anyone I care about, honest and with kind words. Turns out, I like me, what the scale says doesn't change that.

Your soul hears you, so speak with love

Having a great support system really does make a huge difference in all areas of life, but without your own support and self love can you really ever become the best version of you? I don't think so.

To my online friends reading this, you have a friend in me and I am reminding you to love yourself and never give up on you.  HUGS!

My nieces don't care what size my pants are or what the scale says,
they love me for me and I love them!

Support from all Over the Globe

Life is crazy, complicated, wonderful, full of joy and lots of surprises, and so many ups and downs. Every day is a new adventure (thank you Debbie for that line). What matters most is how you get through those times, the good and the bad. Some days I wake up and feel like I can conquer the world, other days not so much. But I have the most amazing support team and a lot of them I have never met before...Confused? Let me explain...

Thank you Jack Sparrow for your words of wisdom!

When I first started trying to lose weight my mom told me about this app called Myfitnesspal. It is a free site that lets me track my weight, exercise, calories and other nutritional information that I choose. It even let me customize my goals since I follow more of a low carb diet. I can use it on my computer or on my phone so no matter where I am I can keep track of my daily intake and goals. I was really enjoying the site, and then I discovered the chat boards. People write questions and talk about their experiences, many sounded similar to my feelings. I started becoming "friends" with more and more people. It was neat keeping up with their success and them with mine. 

This app is more than just counting calories
It's a community to help you succeed with your weight loss
and get healthy dreams

Not too long ago one of those not so easy days happened and I was completely frustrated, my usual support team of people I turn to were busy and I didn't even want to bother them with my frustration, so I turned to the site and posted my thoughts and struggle. I didn't expect any replies or answers, but it felt good to vent my frustrations. So imagine my surprise when within minutes I had comments from all over the globe, people who had never met me before or even talk to me on the phone sending me support and encouragement, reminding me why I started my journey for better health and not to give up. It really helped! I was able to take a step back and work through my thoughts and realized I didn't really want the chocolate bar. That was just one time, other times I have asked for suggestions on a fitness tracker, food ideas, and even workout plans. I get just as excited for their success stories and try hard to support and encourage them when they have down days too. It is this really supportive group of people, who come together and have one goal in mind...success! My kind of people! 

Nothing better than going through the
good and the bad with people who believe and never give up!

If you are looking for a good (did I mention free) app/website to track your information I recommend myfitnesspal and I highly recommend you take advantage of the community boards and make friends. These people have nothing to gain by helping you, they just really want to, and you never know who you may help with your story and experiences. 

Thank you to all my friends on myfitnesspal!

Your Pride and Weight Loss

I wasn't heavy right away but by the time I was 12 I had become the kid that offered to clean the table after dinner in an effort to eat my sister's leftover Big Mac; and Dad if you are reading this I'm sorry everyone blamed you for eating that egg roll, it was me.

Nothing better than being a kid and enjoying it

I was about 15 in the picture and
I think wearing a size 14 in jeans

It wasn't until my late teens/early twenties I knew I had to stop my bad habits. I hated being heavier than everyone else.  And so my ongoing journey to weight loss started. I tried every diet, every method, anything and everything I could think of. I would gain and lose weight on and off for years, then about about 4 years ago I lost a lot of weight by doing Nutrisystem. I was the thinnest I had ever been and loving it. I was able to keep the weight off the longest I had ever done in the past, but between not paying attention to what I was eating, some bad breakups, and food tasting good I gained it all back and then some. This bring me to a few months ago when I knew I had lose it again...but this time everything I had always done in the past wasn't working. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to lose it this time and would just keep gaining.

Me at my thinnest and feelings great

I was feeling more and more frustrated. Throughout the last few months I was able to take off a bunch of the weight I had gained, by eating non-processed foods, cutting out gluten, and really decreasing my sugar intake, but then I hit the dreaded plateau. I was stuck. Up and down, eating and doing the same things I had been doing, were no longer working. My jeans weren't feeling that loose anymore. I finally asked my sister for advice. She recently lost weight and looks absolutely amazing!!  I am so proud of her and all her hard work. There we were talking with my mom about what I was going through and I found myself getting really defensive. Even though I was the one who asked for help. I just kept saying I have been doing this most of my life, this isn't my first time! Okay, I admit sounds completely childish, but it's how I was feeling, insecure. After taking a step back my from my defensive state of mind, my sister explained to me that she knew I had always worked on myself and how weight loss has always been a struggle with me especially now with food sensitivities and obstacles. She thanked me for all my help, knowledge and support I have been giving her that helped her lose weight. She went on to say that by possibly giving me a new and fresh prospective from someone other than myself it might help give me ideas and possibly get me out of my rut. And she was right. We sat there and talked about different foods, snacks, workout ideas and how to make it work with my schedule. I guess even in dieting you can't live in the past, but have to live in the present and look forward to what lies ahead...hopefully that includes a smaller size in pants. My sister helped me gain a new perspective and feel confident that I will succeed.

I love my sister and
 I am happy she always looks out for me even when I am acting like a little sister

I'm really glad I opened up about my struggles and asked for help....I am even happier that I told my pride to be quiet long enough to hear her ideas and receive the new perspective I was in need of.  Don't be afraid to ask for an outside opinion and ideas from someone you trust and respect. You just never know what great ideas they might be able to share with you to help you succeed.

Struggles and Support

I don't know about everyone but I do know when it comes to me and weight loss there are times I want to take the scale and throw it across the bathroom. Times when I just don't understand how it could possibly go up and why do my pants feel snug!?! I didn't eat any oreos my nieces tried to give me. I measured and weighed all my food. I worked out every day. Sure I know my body is complicated and struggles to lose weight but this is just not fair. Well this is the point I reached the other day. I was on a solid roll for a while there. Scale and inches moving in the right direction and then it just stopped and even started going back up. Can you say frustrating! Part of me wanted to say I just give up and eat anything and everything. Then I thought about my health and how that would suffer, I thought about how horrible I would feel, and I thought about the example I would be setting for my nieces. I raised my white flag and admitted I needed backup.  It was time to call in for backup...my mom!

Yeah this is pretty much how I felt the other morning

My mom is amazing and thankfully patient and also my best friend. I can tell her anything. My mom also knows me better than anyone else and knows my struggles. She has been helping me, supporting me, and guiding me since the day I asked for help. I admit this time I wanted to try and do it alone...look what I can do. Then I realized if you have someone in your corner willing to help and support you and figure it out, you are lucky, and I have that with her.

My mom and I can have fun on the beach or even food shopping

I told my mom what was going on,  she asked me about what I was eating and came up with some ideas to possibly help. Then she even agreed to take a ride with me to Shoprite, on a Sunday! For those of you who don't know Shoprite on a Sunday, it's like any food store during a weather emergency! Madness!! But off we went for our adventure. It was like no one else existed in the store as we read labels and talked. I realized I had been slacking on protein and healthy fats while concentrating too much on fruits and other sugary high carb foods. My body hates sugar!!! I have no medical diagnosis for this, but I know. Just like anyone else reading this who knows their body. People might think you are nuts, but you just know your body. My mom showed me different types of meats and gave me ways to cook them. Without her support I would have probably been miserable today. Trying to figure out what to do and where to start to make it better. Instead after a day and a half of my changed eating I had energy. I wasn't relying on coffee, I wasn't starving all day, I wasn't grumpy, and I even had leftover energy to go swimming with my nieces. I'm hoping this is just the start to more days like these and I will keep you updated and even give some easy recipes (I don't do complicated ones yet).

Having fun and getting exercise while playing in the pool

Sometimes all it takes is someone in your corner who can see past the emotions of what you are going through.Someone to help you take a step back and figure out where you went off the path. Don't be afraid to ask for help or like me trying to prove you don't need help. I hope everyone has at least one person like that in their life and if not I am here for you. Feel free to comment on my blogs. I would love to hear your story and please don't give up no matter how challenging.