More Than Weight Loss

A few months back when I starting eating healthier, working out, and reading labels, my plan was to mostly lose weight and feel less sluggish. I had no idea how many twists and turns this journey would lead me on and how much I would discover about myself along the way. 

Look inside yourself for the strength you need to keep moving forward

Now, my hard work means way more to me than just losing some weight. This journey has made me look deep within myself and wonder, what am I made? Who am I? What do I want for myself? While I don't have all the answers yet, I am way more aware of my thoughts and feelings. I realized I am a lot tougher than I even knew, both physically and mentally. 

Excuses are easy...being true to yourself takes commitment to yourself

I look back at how I have treated my body over the years and wonder why I disrespected myself so much. I ate terrible foods, didn't work out, was miserable in my own skin and never took solid action to change that. I would say I can't do it, I will never be a gym person, but I just want to eat what I want. Now I am learning to treat my mind, body and soul with respect. In some ways I feel like I am experiencing things for the first time with clear eyes. I don't want to eat the food that makes me feel sluggish inside, it might taste good, but I love myself enough to fight the urge. Now when I miss a day or two of working out I feel it and I miss it. I even decided to step out of my comfort zone to attend a conference to learn more about my job. In addition, I discovered I love to dress nicer, do my hair every day (unless it's raining), and take pride in who I am. It feels amazing!!

I love playing with different styles these days
I wore this dress to a wedding a few weekends ago

I don't let anyone else disrespect me why would I do that to myself. I'm sorry it took me so long to get here, but glad I finally have!  I'm sure I will have many more ups and downs along the way, but I believe if I stay strong and believe in myself I can achieve anything my heart desires.  

Self love is the biggest lesson I had learn and
never knew I was lacking

To Wine or Not to Wine

No I am not talking about the type of whine you hear from me after an arms workout; I am talking about the wine made from grapes. I bet I have your attention now...

Wine makes me happy inside

When I started cleaning up my diet at the beginning of the year, I only wanted to eat and drink foods that I felt would be healthy and have nutritious benefits for my every day life. Alcohol didn't seem to fit into that category so I cut it out. I had a glass of wine on February 1 at a fire department function and didn't even have a sip for months after that.....until recently. 

Let me explain. Lately I have been thinking about maybe adding in a glass sometimes, I admit after a tough week it is nice to unwind with a good glass and relax your crazy week away. So I looked up the nutritional value and found that a 4 oz glass of Barefoot Moscato (I love Moscato) contains 120 calories and 11g of carbs. Hmm would it be worth it to consume my calories and carbs in the form of a drink that had really no big benefit to me drinking it except I enjoy it??

Hmm... I like the way this guy thinkshttp://www.stelladot.com/

And then last weekend happened...I had a date. I was sort of set up by a friend of a friend and for some reason I was nervous. You would think after so many dates, especially with being on match for a few months I wouldn't even be phased, but that night I was feeling my nervousness.  When we got to the restaurant I decided tonight would be a great night to slowly get back into drinking wine. I ordered my drink, very much aware that I hadn't had anything to drink in a while and I didn't want this to go to my head too quick, so I sipped extra slow and enjoyed. It tasted delicious and I admit it helped me to  relax just a little and enjoy the evening. We had fun that night and yes we have seen each other since. 

Ha ha, yup

I was pleased the next morning when the scale stayed the same, I wasn't feeling yucky at all, and I got right back into my workout routine. So here is my thinking, it's okay to have a little indulgence occasionally, as long as it's not something that will make you sick due to an allergy or sensitivity, and the rest of the time you eat and drink healthy and continue to workout. Moderation and balance is the key. 

I have no idea what the future holds with dating and the new guy, but I do know wine is now back in my life!

Your Pride and Weight Loss

I wasn't heavy right away but by the time I was 12 I had become the kid that offered to clean the table after dinner in an effort to eat my sister's leftover Big Mac; and Dad if you are reading this I'm sorry everyone blamed you for eating that egg roll, it was me.

Nothing better than being a kid and enjoying it

I was about 15 in the picture and
I think wearing a size 14 in jeans

It wasn't until my late teens/early twenties I knew I had to stop my bad habits. I hated being heavier than everyone else.  And so my ongoing journey to weight loss started. I tried every diet, every method, anything and everything I could think of. I would gain and lose weight on and off for years, then about about 4 years ago I lost a lot of weight by doing Nutrisystem. I was the thinnest I had ever been and loving it. I was able to keep the weight off the longest I had ever done in the past, but between not paying attention to what I was eating, some bad breakups, and food tasting good I gained it all back and then some. This bring me to a few months ago when I knew I had lose it again...but this time everything I had always done in the past wasn't working. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to lose it this time and would just keep gaining.

Me at my thinnest and feelings great

I was feeling more and more frustrated. Throughout the last few months I was able to take off a bunch of the weight I had gained, by eating non-processed foods, cutting out gluten, and really decreasing my sugar intake, but then I hit the dreaded plateau. I was stuck. Up and down, eating and doing the same things I had been doing, were no longer working. My jeans weren't feeling that loose anymore. I finally asked my sister for advice. She recently lost weight and looks absolutely amazing!!  I am so proud of her and all her hard work. There we were talking with my mom about what I was going through and I found myself getting really defensive. Even though I was the one who asked for help. I just kept saying I have been doing this most of my life, this isn't my first time! Okay, I admit sounds completely childish, but it's how I was feeling, insecure. After taking a step back my from my defensive state of mind, my sister explained to me that she knew I had always worked on myself and how weight loss has always been a struggle with me especially now with food sensitivities and obstacles. She thanked me for all my help, knowledge and support I have been giving her that helped her lose weight. She went on to say that by possibly giving me a new and fresh prospective from someone other than myself it might help give me ideas and possibly get me out of my rut. And she was right. We sat there and talked about different foods, snacks, workout ideas and how to make it work with my schedule. I guess even in dieting you can't live in the past, but have to live in the present and look forward to what lies ahead...hopefully that includes a smaller size in pants. My sister helped me gain a new perspective and feel confident that I will succeed.

I love my sister and
 I am happy she always looks out for me even when I am acting like a little sister

I'm really glad I opened up about my struggles and asked for help....I am even happier that I told my pride to be quiet long enough to hear her ideas and receive the new perspective I was in need of.  Don't be afraid to ask for an outside opinion and ideas from someone you trust and respect. You just never know what great ideas they might be able to share with you to help you succeed.

It's Not a Diet It's My Future

I have black hair and brown eyes, my sister has brown hair and hazel eyes, my coworker has blond hair and blue eyes. We are a mix of tall, short, big, skinny. We are all uniquely different inside and out; so why should we all follow the same advice to lose weight and be healthy? There are tons of articles, diets, and books out there telling us how we must only eat a certain way to achieve maximum weight loss and healthy results and that all the other diets are wrong. I have read so many over them years I could probably write a combined book. It got me so confused at one point I starting thing....if we are all different inside and out why will the same diet and eating habits work for everyone equally?

Be unique and be true to yourself inside and out

A few years ago I did Weight Watchers, I gained weight. My friend Debbie did it and lost a ton of weight and continues to lose weight and love the program. We did it exactly the same. So why did she drop weight and I gained and felt sluggish? Because we are different. Our bodies are hardwired (that is my scientific term) different. Over the years my mom and I have realized that carbs and sugar are our kryptonite. Eating those can mess up our bodies pretty quick and the recovery time is very very slow. I am talking sugar coma for days just from a small intake, stomach that gets bloated and puffy and overall feeling of yuck. We stick to a low carbohydrate, low sugar, healthy fat eating routine, similar to primal eating/paleo/Atkins. I also now read labels and get pretty grossed out seeing what is in some processed foods. Now on the other hand, my dad and sister can eat pretty much whatever they desire, no problem, and as long as they watch their calories they lose weight and feel good. They are slowly learning about reading labels as well.

No cookies for me...
I am going to leave the cookies to Cookie Monster

So what is my point? My point is we are all uniquely designed inside and out. I don't recommend cutting out all food groups, but I do recommend being in touch with your body. Take notice how you feel after eating certain foods. It's a trial and error sort of thing and of course balance. Too much of anything, no matter how healthy or wonderful is not always a good thing. Be patient with yourself and be willing to learn. Maybe your body just needs a limitation in calories, but maybe you need more than that, maybe less sugar or carbs or dairy. Being open to finding out what my body needs and wants has showed me a whole new world. I still have ups and downs, and thanks to being a girl I get those crazy hormone cravings, but I have learned a lot about my body and when those moments creep up on me I feel like I handle them a little better each time. The conclusion I came to is that taking the time to learn about my body, explore foods, read research and invest in myself is more important than just a diet and weight loss, this is about my health and my future.

I hope I can teach my nieces all that I have learned from my
health journey while they are young.

Dating and Dieting Dilemmas

For all my single friends out there I bet just seeing the word dating made you do a little mental cringe. I know some people say dating is fun and you can meet new people, but my feelings have become more of where oh where is my prince charming already. Now don't get me wrong, I am perfectly happy living the single life, but it would be nice to share with someone.

Saw this on Pinterest. I got a good laugh from it

Oh the dating stories I could tell you...there was the guy that asked me to take my shoes off before getting in his car, the one who talked so much about himself he forgot my name, and my favorite story of the guy who didn't bring cash to the ice cream place, when he found out they didn't accept credit cards he threw a very loud tantrum, yes foot stomping and all and wouldn't let me buy his ice cream for him. Okay I could go on for hours with those stories and I have a feeling there are many similar stories out there (please feel free to share).

Love my friends, but yeah, this is totally me at times

For me going out was always a mix of emotions.  Will he like me, will I like him, and if I met him online...will he even look like his picture. Now I am adding my healthy habits into the mix. What will I eat and drink. I now suggest coffee for first dates because I don't really drink. I went out on a date not too long ago and ordered a burger (took off the bun) and steamed veggies on the side. He wanted me to try his pasta dish. I thanked him, but politely declined and explained nicely that me and pasta are not friends. He got all insulted, even when I explained to him it would hurt my stomach and I just preferred eating lower carb foods, he replied with oh come on just this once. I won't even tell you his reaction when I didn't want to split his giant brownie sundae dessert with him. Needless to say, we didn't go out again.

Okay men, this should go for women too, show me the womanfax

I took a little break from dating, but I am back in the dating scene, looking for someone special in my life to have fun with and who won't give me a hard time for wanting to be healthy, I would really like to me someone who wants to join me on my journey. Dating is complicated enough, but figuring out how to do it while remaining healthy and staying on the weight loss path seems to be a little more challenging. I would love any suggestions from people going through this or have already gone through it and met there match who likes them for them and not the dessert they order or not.

Sometimes you just have to keep trying...cooking and dating

Hmmm.....Maybe I should forget online dating and start looking in the grocery store so I can see what they eat first.

Slow Progress is Still Progress

I wish the scale and my body would figure out faster how hard I am working to be healthy and lose weight. Dropping weight quickly has never been in the cards for me, but now that I know certain things like sugar, too many carbs, and not enough good fat were slowing me down, I have been making progress, but oh so slow. I look at some people who can cut back just a little and poof the pounds fade off, I admit I get jealous of them. I think about all of the cookies, Doritos, french fries, pizza I am not eating and how my progress is still slow. I'm pretty sure I am not the only one out there feeling like this. There has to be someone out there thinking I didn't eat the darn chips at the party why can't my pants fit just a little better. In my make believe world  I think you should lose an inch just for NOT eating all of that, wouldn't that be nice!? Too bad it doesn't work like that. 

So there I was getting dressed this morning with the above thoughts in my head and then really looked again in the mirror. Sure I wish it would happen quicker and I would wake up one day with six pack abs and be able to eat cookies, but yeah I don't think that's my reality. Then I switched up my thoughts, I thought about where I was this time last year. Struggling so much. Crying that my shorts from the previous summer no longer fit, all the weight I had lost in the past I put back on and then some. Wearing clothes that didn't make me feel good inside but the got the job done of covering me up, and always tired. This summer, I am still not able to wear the little shorts from previous summers, but I am wearing smaller ones and cute shirts to show off my hard work, I have energy to workout and chase my nieces around the field. I never gave up on myself. I am always adjusting and reevaluating. Trying new things and willing myself to keep trying. It would be so easy to eat the cookies, but the aftermath wouldn't be easy, because for me, it is not just one cookie, it is one BAG of cookies. Instead of spending time pouting about my slow progress this morning, I flipped it and thought about how far I have come and that felt great!  

We all have that one picture that
inspires us to step up and take charge.
This was mine, I felt miserable in my own skin

I wish I could show you more pictures of me before but I can't. I was not only a master at wearing clothes that would hide me, but I was also a master at hiding from the camera. The picture above is after I already lost a little, but really lit a fire under my butt and got me moving and eating better. 

These pics are about 4 months apart

The pictures on the left is me getting ready to start working out for the first time in years!

The picture above is my first progress comparison photo. This time I decided to take pictures along the way so I can SEE the progress. It's a slight difference but enough that makes me remember why I am doing this every day. You know the saying..Every little bit counts, well I say that is so true!

Be proud of your progress no matter how small or slow!!

No Meal..Go Fish

The biggest thing I have learned about eating healthy is that it requires you to be prepared as much as possible with meals. When it comes to weekdays I usually try to go grocery shopping and make some meals on Sunday to last me the week. Then there are those weekends that get away from me; next thing I know it's Monday and I get home from a busy day of work with no dinner pre-prepared. When this happens there are a few options.. order in food, throw together a quick something you aren't even sure what it is, eat Doritos (fill in your favorite food) or my favorite new option...fish!

Two of my coworkers told me about bags of fish they bought at Shoprite (most grocery stores carry them). The fish are individually packaged giving you the option of cooking 1 or 4 and nothing will go bad because you didn't make it right away, plus it makes it easy to store them in the freezer for the next time you need a quick meal. I figured I would give it a shot and tried the salmon. Wow was I pleasantly surprised!! It came out mouthwatering delicious, and even better it was quick and easy! I didn't even have to defrost the fish first (who has time for that after work). 

Frozen salmon, seasoning of choice, butter and you have a healthy meal in minutes

Ingredients: 

Fish of your choice (I've used salmon and tilapia with these ingredients)

Fresh cut garlic 

Seasoning of your choice...I prefer Mrs. Dash herb and garlic 

Parmesan cheese

Butter

Preheat the over to 350F. Spray a pan or baking sheet with PAM, this is so the fish doesn't stick. In an effort to have less clean-up, because admit it who likes to clean, I like to use disposable pans. Once your fillet(s) are placed in the pan or baking sheet sprinkle the seasoning on the top and bottom, then the parmesan cheese on top, finish by adding the garlic pieces on top and around the fillet and place about a teaspoon of butter on each filet. Tada ready cook. Place in the oven for approximately 15 min. Cooking times vary on filet sizes and ovens. 

Salmon is prepared and  ready to cook

After about 15 minutes or when the fish is mostly cooked I put the oven on broil. I love the parmesan cheese and garlic to get a little crispy. After about a minute (again depends on oven) I take it out and drool at my latest creation. 

L: salmon fresh out of the oven, see little crispy outside.
R: A complete and healthy meal in less than 30 minutes

Hope this helps you, like it did me, get through some hungry meals. Salmon can be a meal for almost any time of the day. Have leftovers for breakfast or lunch too! Oh and stay tuned for some side dish ideas including the zucchini one above. 

Food for Thought

I have always known I was somewhat of an emotional eater in addition to a I'm sitting on the couch and want to munch eater. But either way, it wasn't hunger that was controlling my eating. I recently started reading the book "It Starts with Food" aka Whole 30 I am not done with the book yet, but I will say so far I have had more aha moments than I can count. There was a part in the book about certain foods and emotions being connected. This is how I interpreted what they said in the book; if you think happy when you eat Doritos your brain will associate with that feeling and the next time you need that happy you will crave those Doritos. The good news is that can be changed, the brain has to basically be rewired.

Chelsea keeping me company reading 

So there I was sitting on the couch and thought well if I can get happy feelings from Doritos I can definitely get happy feelings from the bowl of blueberries I was currently munching away on. So I closed my eyes and as I ate the blueberries I let myself truly enjoy every single taste and thought about happy things while eating them. I have continued to do this with blueberries and other healthy foods. On the flip side I have also tried, when I think about cookies, chips, and things that are not so healthy to think of how I felt last time. I try to remember every yucky feeling and how miserable I felt after and sometimes days after. Maybe now when my brain thinks about those foods it will think yuck no thanks that is no longer happy food. I have no idea if this is going to work.Will this new method of thinking hold me back when I am feeling particularly down from grabbing a chocolate bar or a bag of chips? Only time will tell, but I figure it's worth a shot.

Cindy

Finding My Health and My Voice

For the most part I am not a very shy person. I love meeting new people and going to new places, but on this journey to being a healthier person I have discovered that I have a shy side, I am not very good at asking for help, and rarely ask for custom treatment. 

Let's start with the gym. I walked in determined, but quickly realized I was only finding myself determined to use the stationary bike. The side of the gym with the weights seemed a bit foreign to me. I decided it was time to change that, if I was truly committed to me and my health I needed to learn to lift weights. So I got myself a trainer. Within a week he had me on different equipment and trying new things. I found myself asking him to teach me more. Telling him pieces of equipment I liked to use and ones I really didn't enjoy because it bothered some part of my body. Thankfully he is a very patient person and has a sense of humor. Yesterday, I was feeling, well, blah from realizing I still have such a long way to go. He stopped the workout and asked me to talk to him and tell him my thoughts. And for once I did. I really talked to him about the gym, my goals, my fears, all of it. He got me to express everything going on in my head and made me feel better about the gym and about myself.  He helped me put together an even better plan based off of what I told him and reminded me to always speak up for myself.  I now have a bunch of great lifting and cardio plans that I can rotate from day to day.  

The other area I found my voice is when eating out and with people. I never wanted to be that picky person who says I want things cooked this way or order something specially made. I have come to realize those people aren't necessarily picky, they are just looking out for themselves, and I want to be one of them. Now I order veggies and sauces on the side instead of fries and food being smothered. I also speak up more when people ask me where I want to go, it's no longer wherever works, because some places have healthier choices and are more accommodating I would rather go there. 

I never thought I would learn so much about myself in this effort to become a better, healthier version of me. I feel like every day I discover something new and it feels amazing inside. I'm so glad I started this journey and look forward to discovering more. 

Cindy