Dating, Single, and Happy

It's that time...dating update!

If you remember in my post called Dating Highs and Lows I mentioned that I had met someone through mutual friends; we hit it off and starting seeing each other. Over the next couple of months we had a lot of really fun times; and in addition, I learned a lot about him, dating, and especially me. At some point I think we both just realized our lifestyles and future plans didn't really go together. It's okay that it didn't work out between us. I still think he is a really wonderful guy who I hope to stay friends with and keep in my life. 

So back to the single world...

I always take myself on the best dates...like shopping!

Truth is, I don't mind being single. Sure I enjoy having someone in my life, but sometimes having the wrong someone in your life is worse and way more lonely. Yup I am speaking from experience. 

So very true

So what am I doing with all my free time...duh...going to the gym! I re-signed with my trainer, Mark. I am determined to make working out something that is always part of my life. I am also having a blast playing in the kitchen more, yes more food posts in the near future. I am going to try and switch up some of my food choices to see if  I can jump start my weight loss again, I will keep you updated. Plus I have been having the best time being more involved with my fire company, being creative and taking pictures again. 

I've learned it is important to be happy with yourself!
Live and enjoy

While I am perfectly happy being single, I find that my friends who are in relationships are not happy about me being single. I have a formal dinner for my fire company at the end of the month, I can count on one hand the amount of times I brought a date to this event. I don't believe in just bringing someone so I am not alone. If I bring you, it's because you mean something to me. Recently a friend of mine asked if I was going to have a date for the dinner, when I told her no, she made a very sad face, sighed, and said "don't worry someday you will meet someone and until then you have us to hang out with". I tried so hard not to laugh. I'm not worried, at all. I do believe I will meet someone for me someday and if that's not in the cards, that's okay too. I knew she was just being sweet, but she was way more upset than I was about going alone to the dinner.  Me? I am really looking forward to the dinner. I get to hang out with an amazing and fun group of people. Wear a really cute outfit. Take photos. Eat good food. How could I not be excited?!? 

I can't speak for everyone, but I know that I don't need a date to have a fun time. I promise to post some pictures after the dinner. 

For my final dating though on this post..... I believe that when you are being true to you, enjoying life, smiling, and laughing all the right people come into your world at the right time.  

I love Lady Antebellum music!!
This song made me get up and dance in my living room

Be Honest With Yourself

Growing up my parent's taught us to be honest. If you did something you shouldn't have done own up to it, deal with the consequences, and move on. I have taken that teaching with me throughout my life. My close group of friends know that when they ask me a question they will get the truth, I will always try and word it nicely, but it will be the truth. Recently, I realized the one person I am not always honest to is myself.

It's not always easy, but it's the truth

I block, sugar coat, and ignore some of my own feelings and actions because I don't like how they feel. If I overeat on calories one day, I might happen to forget to enter them into myfitnesspal, almost as if I don't enter the information I didn't overeat and then I can look at the scale and wonder why did it go up. With dating, if I am with someone and they do something I may not like I will leave that story out when talking to my friends. If I don't talk about it, then it didn't bother me and all is right in the relationship. If I am feeling scared about something, but I say I am not, then I must be okay. You see what I mean?

I wouldn't trust a friend that didn't tell me the truth,
why should I trust myself if I can't tell myself the truth

It's okay to be scared. It's okay to fail sometimes. It's okay to be excited. The biggest lesson I am learning right now is being honest with myself. It's okay. Don't deny how something makes me feel just because I don't want to feel that way. Own my feelings with myself. I am not any more perfect than the next person. I can't grow as a person if I am not willing to know myself inside and out.

I want to know me the good, the bad, and the scared

Dating Highs and Lows

Time for a dating update post....

For those of you that are happily married can I just say I am jealous. 

If you are fortunate to have found the person
who became your last first date, I'm jealous. First dates are rough 

Dating is hard and I feel like dating is harder now that I am in my 30's for so many reasons. In the earlier dating years when I met a guy it was is he hot, does he have a nice tush, what type of car does he drive, does he have a job. Now I find myself thinking does he have a job, does he have lots of roommates or live at home with his parents, does he have kids and an ex-wife, can he pay his bills or will I be supporting him, does he want a family and yes the does he have a nice tush is still an important question.  Just to add to the questions, if you are looking online it's even more of a mystery if the guy you meet will match what he wrote and posted on the site. 

I believe this will happen for me someday.
My heart may have been broken before, but it has made me who I am today

Now for my personal update...I met someone through mutual friends. My friend and her husband played wingman and wingwomen for us. We text for about a month before we finally had time in both of our schedules to go out. The night was a lot of fun, we laughed a lot and he even sang some karaoke...yes the man can sing! We both didn't want the night to end, he didn't drop me off until about 4 am the next morning. I know I went to bed with a smile on my face.

Since that night it has been a mix of many emotions. When you are dating at this stage in life you both have a past, you both have other relationships, romantic and not, and things that stick with you. As much as you tell yourself to not let the past sneak in to your present thoughts, I honestly don't think it's possible not to. If you have been hurt before or let down, you notice everything the other person is doing. You wonder did I miss something last time and feel very determined not to miss it this time. I am guilty of all of that. I should have seen things in past relationships, or I did but I blocked and didn't want to admit them, and for that I got hurt and was angry with myself for not saying something sooner and especially for not walking away from the relationship before I could get hurt any further. I will say, that this guy has surprised me on many occasions, he is wonderful at talking and communicating and yes has even called me out on some of my behavior to make me aware and in return I have done the same for him. 

It's not fair to blame someone for what someone else did 

The scariest part is not what you see on the surface, it's what you feel deep inside as you start caring and liking someone more. You are opening your heart and being vulnerable, and hoping the person you care about will treat it right, that everything they tell you is the truth. Hoping that they are falling for you as you are falling for them. There is no secret to dating, there are no guarantees to any relationship; there is a lot of putting faith in the other person, hoping they will do right by you as you will by them, and trusting your own instincts. 

I don't have a crystal ball to know what will happen with the man in my life at this time. I hope we continue to grow together and enjoy everything we do. I can tell you my heart is open and while it's really scary, it's better than being closed off and missing the opportunity to find something special. 

Most important advice I ever received,
be yourself and be true to you

Have any good dating advice or stories please feel free to comment and share them!!

Diet and Dating Update #1

Well I finally gave in and decided to take a more proactive roll in my dating life. I joined an online dating site. I figured why not. I did in a few years ago and met some people, but nothing really ever stuck. When I was thinking about all the people I know who have meet their now boyfriends/fiances/husbands from online dating I was inspired to give it a shot as well.  For those of you who have never online dated, let me just say, it is not for the weak! Emails, winks, likes, interests where do you look first. Trying to weed through all the different men who contacted me, figuring out if I like what they said in their profile and if I believed them.  I started really talking to these 2 guys last week. First it was emails back and forth and then text and phone calls. The one guy I seemed to hit it off more with than the other guy so when he asked me out to dinner on a Saturday night I gladly accepted.  And then it happened...I went what should I eat!?!? In my post  Dating and Dieting Dilemmas, I talk about being nervous about what to eat and how some people are quick to criticize and judge.

Funny, this thought has actually crossed my mind

Turns out it was easier than I thought. He asked me to pick a place, so I found one in the middle for both of us and I knew they at least had good burgers. I met my date at the restaurant and at this point I was super nervous and was also excited with myself for knowing what I was eating and having a plan. We went in and talked, turns out our chemistry on the phone ended when we hung up the phone. I was disappointed it didn't work out, but I was extremely proud of myself for trying and putting myself out there. The best part of the whole evening was the hamburger I ordered with the size of veggies, it was delicious!!  I walked away feeling proud of myself for not trying to settle with the first man I went out with and having a plan of what to eat. The planning part made me feel good and know I was putting myself first.

What happened to the second guy you ask... well after talking to him a few more times I realized we didn't have much in common and he didn't like animals. Saying that to an animal lover, especially when I have that on my profile, sort of takes the air of out a possible date. Instead of meeting him for coffee on Sunday, like originally planned, I spent the day goofing around with my nieces and having the best date ever!

My fashionista niece Kaitlyn, trying on hats

My nieces love when we take silly selfies

Best dates ever are with my nieces!!  I love these girls!

Ashley had enough of our shenanigans,
 so it was just Kaitlyn and I being silly

The date didn't go as planned, but I did eat low carb and healthy, just the way I like it. I am not giving up on dating and in fact I am talking to another gentleman over email, who at least likes animals and seems to have a great sense of humor, and now I know if he asks me out to dinner I am better prepared to eat smart and just enjoy...hopefully...More to come....

Dating and Dieting Dilemmas

For all my single friends out there I bet just seeing the word dating made you do a little mental cringe. I know some people say dating is fun and you can meet new people, but my feelings have become more of where oh where is my prince charming already. Now don't get me wrong, I am perfectly happy living the single life, but it would be nice to share with someone.

Saw this on Pinterest. I got a good laugh from it

Oh the dating stories I could tell you...there was the guy that asked me to take my shoes off before getting in his car, the one who talked so much about himself he forgot my name, and my favorite story of the guy who didn't bring cash to the ice cream place, when he found out they didn't accept credit cards he threw a very loud tantrum, yes foot stomping and all and wouldn't let me buy his ice cream for him. Okay I could go on for hours with those stories and I have a feeling there are many similar stories out there (please feel free to share).

Love my friends, but yeah, this is totally me at times

For me going out was always a mix of emotions.  Will he like me, will I like him, and if I met him online...will he even look like his picture. Now I am adding my healthy habits into the mix. What will I eat and drink. I now suggest coffee for first dates because I don't really drink. I went out on a date not too long ago and ordered a burger (took off the bun) and steamed veggies on the side. He wanted me to try his pasta dish. I thanked him, but politely declined and explained nicely that me and pasta are not friends. He got all insulted, even when I explained to him it would hurt my stomach and I just preferred eating lower carb foods, he replied with oh come on just this once. I won't even tell you his reaction when I didn't want to split his giant brownie sundae dessert with him. Needless to say, we didn't go out again.

Okay men, this should go for women too, show me the womanfax

I took a little break from dating, but I am back in the dating scene, looking for someone special in my life to have fun with and who won't give me a hard time for wanting to be healthy, I would really like to me someone who wants to join me on my journey. Dating is complicated enough, but figuring out how to do it while remaining healthy and staying on the weight loss path seems to be a little more challenging. I would love any suggestions from people going through this or have already gone through it and met there match who likes them for them and not the dessert they order or not.

Sometimes you just have to keep trying...cooking and dating

Hmmm.....Maybe I should forget online dating and start looking in the grocery store so I can see what they eat first.