Adventure with Travel and Food

I did it!  I not only flew on a plane for the first time in over 12 years, I not only went to my first big business trip, but I managed to stay true to myself and make choices to benefit my health. With everything I went through last month I was so nervous traveling, especially on a plane and to a location I had never been before. Now that it is over I can say from the bottom of my heart it was amazing!!

View from the plane going to Las Vegas

The meeting that I attended went smoothly and was very informative, in fact, I'm more excited about the future of my company than ever before. The meeting took place in Las Vegas and I am so thankful my boss invited me to attend. From the moment he asked, I thought oh no there will be food. I had barely eaten anything other than my soup, greek yogurt, and caulimash for a month and now I would not only be eating other foods I would not have my own food. I am sure there are plenty of people who travel and what they eat is not on their list of high concerns, but I have a feeling anyone who suffers from health issues related to the digestive system can relate to my fears.

My coworker asked if I wanted a picture,
a few months ago I would have said no thank you,
but now I said absolutely!

Another plane view. I love looking at the clouds

I spoke to the women planning the meeting and she was very understanding, told me everything that would be in the meeting room for breakfast and lunch and gave me the restaurant names so I could plan ahead. I called the restaurants and both seemed okay with my request of plain grilled chicken and a side of veggies.

On the plane I brought some cheese sticks and water. I didn't even eat them, guess my stomach shrunk more than I thought. We checked into the hotel and went to lunch, I ordered a salad with chicken and hoped it would hold me over until dinner. After lunch my boss took us on a tour of Las Vegas, and then went back to the hotel to relax a little.

No french fries or onion rings for me.
I admit this salad was really good and way more filling than I thought it would be

Look I went to Paris too...
haha okay maybe not, but still incredible to see in Vegas

View from my room.
I loved looking out and seeing the mountains

Well I think all that walking and jet jag (I'm from the east coast) caught up to me, because while hanging out in the hotel room I realized I was starving! I checked out the little store downstairs and found some cheese, a turkey sandwich, and coconut water...jackpot! The turkey seemed to be of good quality so I gave it a shot. It was just what I needed. I was back on track and feeling good. Later I met everyone for dinner at the Mexican restaurant and absolutely LOVED the meal they made me of chicken breast, cheese, and veggies. Very healthy, very yummy, low carb, low calorie, low sugar, no bad extra ingredient stuff. I skipped the drinks and dessert and really felt very proud of myself. I also slept great that night.

Snacks I found in the little hotel store.
Thankful the cheese didn't bother my belly

Breakfast in the meeting room was greek yogurt and berries, I am very pleased the berries didn't bother me. Lunch I had some fresh turkey in a small salad. Dinner...well even though I called ahead asking for plain chicken and they assured me it was no problem, the waiter came back and said everything has been marinated and spiced. Ummm now what!?! I asked him what wasn't marinated and spiced he said salmon. Good thing I like salmon. It turned out to be really delicious with a side of asparagus. We walked back to the hotel to enjoy the city at night.

Water show at the Bellagio.
The water was dancing to "singing in the rain" 

Water show at the Bellagio
My favorite part of the walk back to the hotel

I came back from that trip so excited that I stayed true to myself. I didn't eat anything bad because it was easier. I didn't hide my health issues. I even lost a pound. And best of all I was able to wear really cute clothes (thanks to my bf for the Express gift card) and even more exciting was having the the energy I needed to keep up with the meetings, the walking, the travel, and the fun!!

Welcome back to the East Coast.
No place like home

Color Your Mind to Relax

When I was really sick I needed something to occupy my time and most importantly my mind so I wouldn't dwell on the pain in my mouth. I was out picking up a prescription and saw a bunch of color books, so I decided to pick up a Mickey coloring (not many other options) book and some crayons. I remember when I was a kid and didn't feel well I would color. So why not give it a shot as an adult. It actually worked. My mind wasn't totally focused on the pain and I was able to somewhat relax and let my body start healing.

Thank you Mickey and Minnie for helping me relax

Soon after I saw an article on the news about adult color books being the latest rage. It was like they heard me talking to my mom saying I wish they made books for grownups. On a hunch last weekend I decided to stop in at a craft store called A.C. Moore to see if they had them. I was in luck, they did. They didn't have the super fancy ones I saw online or on the news, but they still had some fun ones and they were only $5.99 so I figured let's see if I like it before going for the big books. I treated myself to a pack of 72 pencils as well.

My new coloring books and pencils.
Chelsea really loves the pencils

I'm so glad I picked up the books and pencils last weekend, because this week, while I try to remain positive and upbeat, was a struggle. I was feeling like a lump and bummed out about everything. I was worrying about the future. I was worrying about my business trip next week. And the worry seemed to go on and on...then I remembered about my new coloring books. I started coloring and let me tell you, I loved it. My mind quieted enough that I could calm myself and relax. I was able to come up with new fun ideas to cook when I am much better. I slept better than I had in days. I was able to work through or at least quiet some of the emotions and thoughts running through my mind. It's amazing what a little creativity and mindless fun can do for the mind and soul.

My current coloring project
Makes me smile

I highly recommend trying these coloring books if you are looking to relax and have some fun too!

Cauliflower Mash

Let me warn you before you read any further, this dish is addictive. You will want it all the time! Don't say I didn't warn you.

I started seeing more and more recipes for cauliflower mash aka caulimash online and would think about making them, but never did. It was actually my mom's idea to try and make it when I was sick and couldn't chew. I was looking for mushy foods that wouldn't irritate my body, you don't get any more plain than cauliflower. The first time I tried it, I knew my mom was a genius. It allowed me to eat without pain, it was delicious, and filling.

Now it's my turn to share with you. My version is very simple. You can find a ton of recipes online that will add in cheeses and spices and different techniques. Maybe someday I will try those too, but for now I am happy with my way.

Ingredients:

Cauliflower (frozen or fresh)
Garlic
Salt (I prefer sea salt)
Butter

I started making it with frozen cauliflower, but when my boyfriend made it for me using fresh cauliflower I loved the freshness and started cutting up my own. I really wasn't sure how to cut a cauliflower so I googled and got some pointers. Removing the stem is the big thing. It's actually not that hard. After you clean the head, flip it over and cut the branches like someone would cut a tree branch to separate from the trunk.

This is how I cut up my cauliflower. If you have a better technique feel free to let me know.
I made this up as I went

Once the stem was removed find all the little florets was easy, a bunch of them just fell off and the others was just quick cut at a branch or two.

See how once you remove the stem you can see all the different florest

I fill a pot with the cauliflower and then filled the pot with just enough water to cover the cauliflower add a little salt and then cover the pot.

I cut mine up into smaller pieces to make it cook a little quicker.

I then turn the heat up high and wait for it boil. When it gets really going I turn the heat down a little so the water doesn't go all over the place. Then just let it cook away.

As the cauliflower is cooking, I start chopping up fresh garlic to throw in. I love garlic so I will usually chop up a few cloves, go by what you like.

I love garlic!  Mmm the smell and taste, yum

Once the cauliflower is soft I dump it into a strainer to remove the water.

Strain out all the water.
BE CAREFUL it will be steamy and HOT!

I then dumped the cauliflower back into the original pot, because it will still be warm and makes it easier to mash the cauliflower. I scatter the garlic and a couple tablespoons of butter.

Mmm the start of something delicious. See how the butter is melting already

Another find, compliments of the man, he loves this type of butter and I have to agree.
It's delicious

Now the fun part.  Take your masher and just start mashing!!  Some people use a food processor, but I don't want to add to the cleaning pile, and let's face it, it feels good to get a little aggression out sometimes...use it to mash!

MASH MASH MASH!!

Doesn't it look like mashed potatoes?

And that's it. Now serve and enjoy.  Even when I am all better I plan on keeping this on my menu. It's healthy, low carb, easy to make, and delicious. If you try it, I hope you love it as much as I do. Now I have to go make a batch because I am drooling at my pictures.

ENJOY!

Inside Outside Health

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!

Have fun this weekend!
Enjoy the fun not the food

I am leaving soon to go hang out with my big man and little man, can't wait. I think today is going to be a relax and hang out type of day. As long as I am with them we always have fun. 

I wanted to just stop in here for a quick update. Thank you to everyone who left me such nice comments and emails. It meant a lot to me!!!  

Abby says hi. 

I'm still working on healing up my insides, but I've notice some very interesting changes the last few days. Since cutting out processed foods (okay almost all foods), eating low carb, basically no sugar, and smaller portions I feel cleaner. I feel like my insides are starting to breathe again. I also noticed little changes, sure they could be coincidence but....I don't think so.  I noticed my eyelashes are suddenly thicker and longer, my nails have been growing again so much so that I have to actually cut them. My hair is shiny not dull and not as dry as it had become the last few months. Some days my energy level is so high I can go all day at work, run errands after work, cook when I get home, clean when I get home, and still be wide awake; other days I come home from work and must put my head down. 

I can't believe how they are growing.
I've been complaining the last few months they wouldn't stop breaking

I am not really working since I am not eating meals that would fuel me through big workouts, but I am wearing my FitBit Charge every single day. I still have to hit my calorie goal loss of 1,600 a day. I try and add in little movement and especially dancing around while cooking or cleaning. I find dancing to be not only exercise but good for the soul. To help mentally, I am remembering to stop and breathe. Enjoy the little things that make me smile. I try and work through the times I just want to cry because I am not better, if I get in my head too much I will be living with constant stress and fear and that's not how I want to live, so I have to learn to channel those feelings and work through them. It's a process. 

I saw this solar light while I was picking up a prescription. I immediately liked it.
When I was almost done shopping and was still thinking about it,
I knew I should treat myself and I got it
Some times it's the little things that can make you smile.
I still smile every time I pass it on my balcony 

Of course I wish I would be all better by now, I wish my leaky gut would stop leaking, but at least I am learning a lot along the way and my nails look great, haha. I will post my caulimash (mashed cauliflower) and soup recipes soon. I love sharing with all of you!

Time to Heal

I am not even sure where to start to catch you up on my last few months. It's been sort of a whirlwind. I'm sorry I didn't post at all while going through things.

My craziness really started the beginning of May. After joining Weight Watchers, and loving the program, I knew it was time to start working out again. I was not in the mood for the gym one morning so I went for a walk. I decided to head to a field/park near my home and follow that path. It was a beautiful day.

Pictures from my walk
It was such a beautiful day to go out for a feel good walk

I was enjoying the sun, the breeze, and my music. I was on my way back when I came around the corner and a giant, horse sized Great Dane and it's owner appeared.  I usually love dogs and have never been afraid but something about this dog threw me a little. I decided to walk very far off the path and out the dogs way. Well he had a different idea in mind. Within seconds he broke away from his owner (a very small women who could barely hold him any way) and came at me. Next thing I know he is latched onto my arm. I wish I could tell you what I did next to get away, but I don't remember. The next thing I remember is being halfway down the path looking at my arm bleeding and trying to get even further away from the beast. The owner's daughter came over to help. I called my parents to come and get me from the park, luckily they live nearby. I had to walk all the way across a big field holding my arm. The owner's daughter, while very nice, told me this isn't the first time they have had problems with the dog and think it might be inbred. I couldn't believe it. Why would they bring him to a park, why?!?!  My parent's arrived and helped me clean up the area the best they could. I gave a report to the police officer and off I went to the emergency room with my parents. They cleaned me up, gave me massive dose antibiotics and said yup that will probably scar.

My mom took this picture of me in the emergency room
Somehow she had me laughing and smiling

I spent the rest of the day being cheered up by my truly amazing, wonderful, and loving family. My nieces checking on me and doing my hair. My mom and sister helping me with my bandages. My dad making me smile being silly. I love them so much. I spent the rest of the weekend trying to change my bandage with one arm and taking it easy. In addition, to my family, the wonderful man in my life checked on me constantly and sent me cute photos of him and his son to cheer me up.

To help me not be afraid of walking outdoors, they somehow talked me into going for a walk.
We had a blast playing in the fields behind my parent's house

Kaitlyn always knows how to cheer me up

As the month went on I started to heal a little more, still a little cautious of the outdoor walks I stuck with the treadmill. I was losing weight on Weight Watchers and enjoying, but then I started really changing the way I had eaten for the last year. Instead of healthy non-processed foods, I found myself eating more processed foods. Instead of gluten free I ate lots of products with gluten. I didn't notice not feeling well so I thought it was okay. But then life happened, I started going to more summer parties, I started eating more desserts, I ate doritos like it was my job, I went on vacation with my man and his family and ate lots and lots of fried food. Somehow I had spiraled into a whirlwind of processed food, sugar, carbs, and fried yuck! But hey I felt fine, so it must be okay...until it wasn't!

Just a few of my many indulgences...
don't be fooled by the s'more picture, I had many more than just one

One day I woke up and my tongue was swollen and painful, the side of my stomach hurt a little, and the pain in my mouth made me cry. I couldn't eat or drink, and was barely able to speak without pain. At my mom's suggestion I found a wonderful ENT Dr. who diagnosed my mouth infection.  It appears the very high dose of antibiotics I was on for the dog bite, combined with all the bad food, set my body into a tailspin of bad. While on the outside it appeared the different bad food wasn't bothering me, on the inside was an entirely different situation.

So where does that leave me....well I have spent the last 2 weeks living off bone broth, chicken soup, organic greek yogurt, and caulimash (mashed cauliflower). I am resetting my poor screwed up digestive system and healing the mouth infection at the same time. It's amazing that the less you eat the less you need. I do miss solid foods and flavors, but if this is what my body needs right now to get back on track, then that's what I am going to do.

Bone broth. I must admit it tastes really good
and even better, I made it, talk about feeling proud

All natural! It doesn't sound as exciting as other flavors but I actually really enjoy it
Even when I can eat other things I will continue with this yogurt.

I know it will take time before I am 100%, but I will get there. I will learn along the way and remember the horrible pain of what I went through and never repeat my mistakes again. I am so thankful for the support system I have. My family and the wonderful man in my life helped me through it all. My poor mom, getting text msgs from me about feeling miserable and encouraging me nonstop to push through it, and helping me come up with a plan of attack every step of the way. My man, who loves to cook, wanted to make me something I could eat. He made the most delicious batch of caulimash I have ever tasted!!! Instead of being cranky that I can't enjoy his foods, he told me to just keep finding recipes that I can eat and enjoy and be healthy and he will make them for me. My coworkers checked on me constantly while I was out and sent me funny emails and texts to keep me smiling. My wonderful boss let me pick up work and work from home so I wouldn't fall behind.

Caulimash!!  He made it so delicious I now crave it.
I keep trying, but so far it doesn't comes out the same when I make it

I've been given the chance to help myself, to move forward and be a healthier better version of me and I will not take this opportunity for granted! This is no longer just about weight loss, it's about my future and my health.

After a rough month it was time for some much needed fun!
Mini golf last weekend

A Way of Healthy Life

Last month was absolutely crazy!  I got sick with an upper respiratory infection and a sinus infection, knocked me on my butt for at least a week. I admit, while in bed I didn't really eat more than Cheerios. Yup, you heard me correct I ate cheerios. I know my paleo, no grains, gluten-free readers are in shock and disbelief right now, but as I mentioned in my last post, I reached a point where what I had been doing wasn't working and I was miserable. Time for a change.

After a year with no results and being unhappy
I knew it was time to take action for my future

I was searching for a way of eating that would allow me to eat a more balanced way of life. Something that would hold me accountable for how much I eat. Something that would allow me to have the occasional indulgence. Most importantly, I wanted something I could do forever. I know there will never come a time I don't have to watch how much or what I eat, but maybe there is a way to have it all and enjoy it and be healthy and lose weight.

I admit I am guilty of this when I deprive myself

That way of thinking lead me back to my original weight loss time, years ago... Weight Watchers!! I did some googling and found that the program changed since I did it last and now the points weren't just about calories, but also took into consideration protein, fiber, and fat and the roles they play. I was still debating to spend the money or not and saw they were running a promotion, no registration fee and a neat little starter package if I signed up for 3 months. I decided with my time being all over the place I would sign up for online only to make it work with my life. I was feeling truly excited for the first time in a LONG time!

This is what my food selection for today looks like.
So may delicious foods I can eat and enjoy
And I still have 5 points left for dessert later if I want

That was a little over a week ago, so how was the first week you are wondering... AMAZING! The phone app has made it so easy to track and check food points. Grocery shopping became more like a game, I walked around the aisles with the app and scanned bar codes to see how many points the food item was. The last week I have enjoyed, Morningstar Farms Chik patties, Sara Lee bread, Fiber One bars for dessert, and ground chicken in my delicious salads.

This was delicious! Eggo, chicken sausage, and egg whites

So easy to make delicious and filling foods

I had my first weigh-in this past Wednesday. I didn't think I lost anything with the yummy food I was eating, lack of exercise, and stressful weekend (more to come on that), but I did indeed have a loss of .6.  I know it doesn't seem like much, but for someone who hasn't seen a loss in a long time and just spent the week enjoying food and not stressing, that loss was very exciting for me.

I will keep you updated of my Weight Watchers fun and promise to post all my yummy food finds.

This is a way of life, not a temporary diet!! 

I Can If I Want

My last post "My Relationship with Food" was about my freedom from food. My plan is to stop eliminating almost all food groups and to start incorporating foods back into my eating habits that I haven't eaten in YEARS to see how my body reacts.

No more diets, just me eating healthy food choices 
and enjoying occasional treats without guilt
http://freedombeautyhappiness.com/222/

Since it has only been a few days since my mind shift and eating habits happened I know it will take longer to really see how things are progressing for me, but a lot has already changed and I wanted to update everyone.  After that blog post, I gave myself permission to eat. To live my life and enjoy. To not stress over every single food option. To not panic at the thought of eating out. To not freak out if I ate too much. To not listen to everyone else tell me what I should or should not be eating. I went to bed that night with those last thoughts. I woke up Saturday morning and the only word I could use to describe my feeling in that moment is FREEDOM. I was free; from myself, judgment, criticism, fear of failure, stress of eating, and the feeling of lacking.

For a brief moment this is exactly how I felt,
but then I remembered it's not just weight loss, but my health

I also decided that to keep myself still in check a little, I would start tracking again on myfitnesspal. So I made my goal any where between 1200-1300 calories and I added carbs back into my calculations. I had a delicious breakfast and then went off shopping. I felt giddy almost at this fresh start. Later that day at my parent's house I enjoyed some yummy food...nope I didn't everything in site but I did enjoy every piece that went into my mouth and enjoyed having energy to run around outside and play with my nieces, it was finally a nice spring day outside.

I had energy!
First time in a long time I wasn't being Aunt Cin, the lump on the couch taking a nap
I can't wait for more days like this

Sunday was brunch in the morning with a girlfriend of mine, we try to meet once a month to always keep updated and just laugh like school girls. There I was with the menu in my hands, thinking well I gave myself permission, I can eat anything on this menu I want. Drum roll....what did I get......2 eggs overeasy with a side of veggies and some bacon. I didn't feel deprived at all. It was so yummy and I picked it because that is what I wanted and I knew I would feel good after eating it.

Sunday afternoon I ended up spending the day with the man in my life and his 9 year old son. The time flew!! I didn't even realize how long it had been since I last ate anything because we were running around having a blast. Then, it happened, as I was running around with the 9 year old, his dad said I ordered a pizza for dinner should be here in 45 minutes.  Ummm, ut oh. I haven't had pizza in over 2 years. It was a forbidden food. Should I ask him to call back and order me a salad with dressing on the side by only oil and vinegar because who knows what is in the other dressings? Should I just say I am not hungry and starve? Those thoughts quickly went through my mind as if I was programmed to think like that. Then they went away, I felt an instant calm and thought just enjoy it. Have a slice of pizza, not the entire pie, but a slice. Not every day, but tonight is okay. The pizza arrived. I may have actually been drooling at the smell of it. He ordered a Hawaiian pizza (his son's favorite). There I was pizza to lips, I could hear my mom saying, don't do it. I could hear years of my own training saying are you CRAZY women it's PIZZA!  I did it, I took a bite of the pizza and smiled. I looked over to the 9 year old who said isn't it delicious with a huge smile on his face and I couldn't have agreed more. I had 2 slices of pizza and appreciated and loved every bite of it. I was stuffed for the rest of the night and slept better than I have in ages. I know the pizza didn't cause me to sleep better, but I didn't feel bad or stressed or deprived at all. I felt good, I had an amazing wonderful day that included pizza.

Shout out to my blog friend Gwen who writes The Sunny Coconut . She recently wrote a post called S Foods; it was about how everyone's body reacts different to different foods. I highly recommend checking it out, I enjoyed reading it and completely agree!!  I know I will never be able to eat a couple of chips and put the bag away, but I can eat a piece of chocolate and be satisfied. What are your trigger foods that you avoid?

My Relationship with Food

For as long as I can remember I had a love/hate relationship with food. I have been dieting since I was a teenager. As I mentioned in a previous post I have tried almost every diet in some way or another. The outcome...usually some weight loss followed by a binge event and lots of weight gain and then a struggle to lose it again. Sound familiar? I have a feeling I am not alone.

Starving and deprived is usually how I feel
https://slimdownwithsandee.wordpress.com/

Last Saturday was my birthday, I am now 32 years old. At 32 I still struggle with my weight and food relationship like I did at 13. When I had that realization I came to the conclusion it is time to fix my relationship with food. No more diets. No more beating myself up. Time to grow up and learn.

Time to find a better relationship..
the one where I am in tune and honest with myself

My first step was to think back about all my past successes and failures. I found a common denominator. I told myself over and over again "you can't have that". Sometimes it was about steak, cereal, chips, sweet potatoes, low carb, low fat, high fat, you name it. At one point or another a certain food group was kicked out of my life. Until, I had enough and would binge completely out on that food or just any food from restricting intake too much. It was like I was teaching myself a lesson, you can't tell me I can't have something, ha and wow I am so starving!

Usually I eat the salad...
and then wake up in the middle of the night and eat the cakehttps://slimdownwithsandee.wordpress.com/

Well no more, this is me making peace with food. Food is what fuels my body. I am not saying I plan on eating cake and cookies all the time...yuck, or even that I plan on living on steak. I want to find a happy middle group. I want to not feel starved half the time. I want to finally show myself that at 32 I have found peace and balance in myself. I will probably always watch my sugar intake and eat lower than most carbs, but that's is because I know my body can't handle too much. However, I will have a sweet potato when I feel like it, maybe half not whole. I will have an apple, if I get the urge. I will eat my burgers, off the bun, because to me the bun is a waste not because of some diet I am following. I will teach myself portion control so that I can enjoy food without listing them as off-limits. I will not be afraid to go out with friends and eat at restaurants. I will allow myself to taste a cupcake if I want to, taste...not devour!

I love steak, but there is just so much you can eat
before craving other foods

I know I sound like this is easy, but I know it's not. It's been a battle for so long, I know it will take time, patience, and self-love to conquer this. I want this for myself, my future, my health, my peace of mind.

I will keep everyone updated and hope you support my ups and downs of food choices. I won't hide anything or pretend that I didn't eat cheerios a few moments ago (they tasted absolutely amazing). This is me being real with you and myself!!!

DELICIOUS!!
(Mom if you are reading this, stop shaking your head and I love you)

Support and Love Yourself

The other night I met up with one of my best friends. She and I have known each other since we were kids. I'm pretty sure we have tried every diet, gym, and cookie together. She is currently pregnant with baby #2, yes I am very excited to start baby shopping, and she started talking to me about losing weight after she has the baby especially since she didn't lose the weight from baby #1. I told her she had a partner in me. We could meet up after work and go for walks, come up with fun healthy food ideas, and be each other's biggest weight loss cheerleaders. There was no way I was letting her leave that night feeling bad about herself or doubting her ability to take off the weight and I meant every word of it.

I've got your back and will crop your muffin top too
http://hundredsofhilariouspics.com/

I've been thinking a lot since that night...how come I can be there for everyone cheering them on and encouraging them, not letting them feel bad about themselves for one second, but when it comes to myself I constantly beat myself up and put myself down for not having the body I want right now, for not working out longer and harder, for not eating every meal perfect. What type of friend am I to myself? Not a very good one. I'm actually very hard on myself and instead of encouraging I put myself further down. The truth is, sure I would love to have more tone and muscle and be able to wear a bikini, but I'm also not so bad the way I am now, there is a lot I do like about myself. Even more important, I never give up. I constantly pick myself up and try harder. I think that makes me pretty badass actually.

Love yourself!

So, from now on, I'm going to be my friend. When I feel bad about something, I will remind myself I will do better next time. I will remind myself of how far I have come and all of the other really great things about me. I will talk to myself like I would talk to anyone I care about, honest and with kind words. Turns out, I like me, what the scale says doesn't change that.

Your soul hears you, so speak with love

Having a great support system really does make a huge difference in all areas of life, but without your own support and self love can you really ever become the best version of you? I don't think so.

To my online friends reading this, you have a friend in me and I am reminding you to love yourself and never give up on you.  HUGS!

My nieces don't care what size my pants are or what the scale says,
they love me for me and I love them!