Ups and Downs

Usually when I talk about ups and downs in the weight loss world I am referring to the numbers I see on the scale; however, this time it's about the daily journey. Over the last few months I have dedicated a lot of time to learning about food, exercise, and being healthier. Only over the last few weeks have I felt like I was finally on the right path. I had a better understanding of what different carbs and sugar could do to my body. I learned what happens when I cut out all carbs and workout, not a pretty picture. I learned to make going to the gym a fun habit and walking around my town something to look forward to on weekends. I was feeling pretty good about it all and then....

A few weeks ago was Memorial Day. I woke up and went for a long walk since I had the day off. It was a refreshing and invigorating walk. I reflected on the past weekend and how for the first time in months, and I mean months, I stayed within a good calorie range. I didn't over eat, I didn't over indulge, but I was satisfied and did enjoy myself. I did all that on holiday weekend, yeah I was feeling pretty darn proud.  

Early morning lake view from my walk

My family and I went to the parade in town and I shared a delicious ice cream with my sister, who also recently lost a bunch of weight and looks amazing.  So where is the down part you ask?  Well, on our way back to the car my adorable 3, almost 4 year old, niece looks up at me with her big brown eyes and tells me her legs are tired from walking. So I pick her up and walk with her on my hip. My mom and sister both told me not to since I have suffered from back problems in the past, but nope,  her legs were tired and she knows her Aunt is a big sucker for her, so onward we went.  Later that evening I knew I had made a big mistake. My back was screaming in pain and as the night went on it just got worse and I found myself crying to my mom why didn't I just listen to them. 

Getting ready for the parade

Here I was, I had been so good with the gym loving it, I was up and about and enjoying every moment and now I was down on the couch hoping to walk straight the next day. I woke up and decided I could crawl to work or be smart and take the day off. Thankfully I have an amazing boss and I was able to take the day to recover. As I sat on the couch, I felt bad for myself. What about all my hard work at the gym, what about how good I was doing? Then it hit me. Sure I might be down and out for this week, but I will be back in the gym in no time. And even more motivated to strengthen my muscles and tone myself so things like this don't happen again. I must stay strong and fight on. Let my body heal up and then make it better than ever before.

Sharing some ice cream 

So sure I miss the gym and wish I was going, but this has taught me once again how incredible the human body is and how important it is to take care of it. And also how important it is to remain positive. It's hard, but it's better than being negative and making yourself more upset and probably doing more bad than good.  I saw this online and thought it was appropriate for my post today. I'm not sure who said it, but I agree with them 100%

Cindy 

Finding My Health and My Voice

For the most part I am not a very shy person. I love meeting new people and going to new places, but on this journey to being a healthier person I have discovered that I have a shy side, I am not very good at asking for help, and rarely ask for custom treatment. 

Let's start with the gym. I walked in determined, but quickly realized I was only finding myself determined to use the stationary bike. The side of the gym with the weights seemed a bit foreign to me. I decided it was time to change that, if I was truly committed to me and my health I needed to learn to lift weights. So I got myself a trainer. Within a week he had me on different equipment and trying new things. I found myself asking him to teach me more. Telling him pieces of equipment I liked to use and ones I really didn't enjoy because it bothered some part of my body. Thankfully he is a very patient person and has a sense of humor. Yesterday, I was feeling, well, blah from realizing I still have such a long way to go. He stopped the workout and asked me to talk to him and tell him my thoughts. And for once I did. I really talked to him about the gym, my goals, my fears, all of it. He got me to express everything going on in my head and made me feel better about the gym and about myself.  He helped me put together an even better plan based off of what I told him and reminded me to always speak up for myself.  I now have a bunch of great lifting and cardio plans that I can rotate from day to day.  

The other area I found my voice is when eating out and with people. I never wanted to be that picky person who says I want things cooked this way or order something specially made. I have come to realize those people aren't necessarily picky, they are just looking out for themselves, and I want to be one of them. Now I order veggies and sauces on the side instead of fries and food being smothered. I also speak up more when people ask me where I want to go, it's no longer wherever works, because some places have healthier choices and are more accommodating I would rather go there. 

I never thought I would learn so much about myself in this effort to become a better, healthier version of me. I feel like every day I discover something new and it feels amazing inside. I'm so glad I started this journey and look forward to discovering more. 

Cindy  

Every Day New Start

I've been dieting for as long as I can remember, the scale goes up and down. But now I am doing more than trying to get skinny; I am trying to get healthy overall. I found out a few years ago that I have PCOS, which messes with my insulin levels. I also learned that trying to ignore it will not make it go away. A few months ago I decided to go low carb, like say 20 carbs a day. It went okay. I lost a few pounds. Yay. My best friend, Debbie, encouraged me to join a gym, so off I went to join and discovered I loved it!! I started working out a minimum of 3 days a week 30 minutes and built up from there and got myself trainer. I started to notice that after the gym my energy levels were non-existent and as the days went on I was clumsy (more than usual), lacked energy, and incredibly grumpy. I found myself one miserable early morning searching my kitchen for something and found a box of cheerios I had stashed. I can not tell you how much I loved every single cheerio bite!  When I told Debbie, about eating the cheerios and the last few weeks she explained to me that my body needed more carbs for energy. The right carbs. She helped me figure out I was actually doing more harm than good.  

I've spent the weeks since then adding in carbs, the right ones as she put it.  I felt so much better. My energy levels were through the roof. I felt like I could workout better and stronger and wanted to. I even had energy after my workout. But lately I noticed I was craving more and more sugary things. I looked back in my tracker and realized my carb intake had sky rocketed. Noticed it a little too late. Last night I was sitting on my couch and started getting a headache, then the cravings, oh how I hate to admit this, I became a crazy women searching for anything and everything chocolate. Next thing I knew I was sitting on the kitchen floor with a bag of unmade cookie dough picking out the chocolate chips. I hit rock bottom. I went to bed feeling even worse.

I woke up this morning with renewed ideas. I had to get my carbs and sugar under control. Yes there is good and really bad carbs, but for some, carbs and sugar are way more dangerous and need to be carefully kept in check. But most importantly I realized that every single day that I get up and regroup and try again is a success. The scale might not think so and my pants may yell at me tomorrow, but they will thank me again, because I am not going to give up on myself. I am worth it.

Remember that as long as you try every day, prepare healthy meals, workout a little harder and keep going you are a success and please don't ever give up on yourself. I know I won't.

Cindy