More Than Weight Loss

A few months back when I starting eating healthier, working out, and reading labels, my plan was to mostly lose weight and feel less sluggish. I had no idea how many twists and turns this journey would lead me on and how much I would discover about myself along the way. 

Look inside yourself for the strength you need to keep moving forward

Now, my hard work means way more to me than just losing some weight. This journey has made me look deep within myself and wonder, what am I made? Who am I? What do I want for myself? While I don't have all the answers yet, I am way more aware of my thoughts and feelings. I realized I am a lot tougher than I even knew, both physically and mentally. 

Excuses are easy...being true to yourself takes commitment to yourself

I look back at how I have treated my body over the years and wonder why I disrespected myself so much. I ate terrible foods, didn't work out, was miserable in my own skin and never took solid action to change that. I would say I can't do it, I will never be a gym person, but I just want to eat what I want. Now I am learning to treat my mind, body and soul with respect. In some ways I feel like I am experiencing things for the first time with clear eyes. I don't want to eat the food that makes me feel sluggish inside, it might taste good, but I love myself enough to fight the urge. Now when I miss a day or two of working out I feel it and I miss it. I even decided to step out of my comfort zone to attend a conference to learn more about my job. In addition, I discovered I love to dress nicer, do my hair every day (unless it's raining), and take pride in who I am. It feels amazing!!

I love playing with different styles these days
I wore this dress to a wedding a few weekends ago

I don't let anyone else disrespect me why would I do that to myself. I'm sorry it took me so long to get here, but glad I finally have!  I'm sure I will have many more ups and downs along the way, but I believe if I stay strong and believe in myself I can achieve anything my heart desires.  

Self love is the biggest lesson I had learn and
never knew I was lacking

Be Honest With Yourself

Growing up my parent's taught us to be honest. If you did something you shouldn't have done own up to it, deal with the consequences, and move on. I have taken that teaching with me throughout my life. My close group of friends know that when they ask me a question they will get the truth, I will always try and word it nicely, but it will be the truth. Recently, I realized the one person I am not always honest to is myself.

It's not always easy, but it's the truth

I block, sugar coat, and ignore some of my own feelings and actions because I don't like how they feel. If I overeat on calories one day, I might happen to forget to enter them into myfitnesspal, almost as if I don't enter the information I didn't overeat and then I can look at the scale and wonder why did it go up. With dating, if I am with someone and they do something I may not like I will leave that story out when talking to my friends. If I don't talk about it, then it didn't bother me and all is right in the relationship. If I am feeling scared about something, but I say I am not, then I must be okay. You see what I mean?

I wouldn't trust a friend that didn't tell me the truth,
why should I trust myself if I can't tell myself the truth

It's okay to be scared. It's okay to fail sometimes. It's okay to be excited. The biggest lesson I am learning right now is being honest with myself. It's okay. Don't deny how something makes me feel just because I don't want to feel that way. Own my feelings with myself. I am not any more perfect than the next person. I can't grow as a person if I am not willing to know myself inside and out.

I want to know me the good, the bad, and the scared

Dating Highs and Lows

Time for a dating update post....

For those of you that are happily married can I just say I am jealous. 

If you are fortunate to have found the person
who became your last first date, I'm jealous. First dates are rough 

Dating is hard and I feel like dating is harder now that I am in my 30's for so many reasons. In the earlier dating years when I met a guy it was is he hot, does he have a nice tush, what type of car does he drive, does he have a job. Now I find myself thinking does he have a job, does he have lots of roommates or live at home with his parents, does he have kids and an ex-wife, can he pay his bills or will I be supporting him, does he want a family and yes the does he have a nice tush is still an important question.  Just to add to the questions, if you are looking online it's even more of a mystery if the guy you meet will match what he wrote and posted on the site. 

I believe this will happen for me someday.
My heart may have been broken before, but it has made me who I am today

Now for my personal update...I met someone through mutual friends. My friend and her husband played wingman and wingwomen for us. We text for about a month before we finally had time in both of our schedules to go out. The night was a lot of fun, we laughed a lot and he even sang some karaoke...yes the man can sing! We both didn't want the night to end, he didn't drop me off until about 4 am the next morning. I know I went to bed with a smile on my face.

Since that night it has been a mix of many emotions. When you are dating at this stage in life you both have a past, you both have other relationships, romantic and not, and things that stick with you. As much as you tell yourself to not let the past sneak in to your present thoughts, I honestly don't think it's possible not to. If you have been hurt before or let down, you notice everything the other person is doing. You wonder did I miss something last time and feel very determined not to miss it this time. I am guilty of all of that. I should have seen things in past relationships, or I did but I blocked and didn't want to admit them, and for that I got hurt and was angry with myself for not saying something sooner and especially for not walking away from the relationship before I could get hurt any further. I will say, that this guy has surprised me on many occasions, he is wonderful at talking and communicating and yes has even called me out on some of my behavior to make me aware and in return I have done the same for him. 

It's not fair to blame someone for what someone else did 

The scariest part is not what you see on the surface, it's what you feel deep inside as you start caring and liking someone more. You are opening your heart and being vulnerable, and hoping the person you care about will treat it right, that everything they tell you is the truth. Hoping that they are falling for you as you are falling for them. There is no secret to dating, there are no guarantees to any relationship; there is a lot of putting faith in the other person, hoping they will do right by you as you will by them, and trusting your own instincts. 

I don't have a crystal ball to know what will happen with the man in my life at this time. I hope we continue to grow together and enjoy everything we do. I can tell you my heart is open and while it's really scary, it's better than being closed off and missing the opportunity to find something special. 

Most important advice I ever received,
be yourself and be true to you

Have any good dating advice or stories please feel free to comment and share them!!

Fall Into Fun

Fall time...to me it means leaves changing, pumpkins, hay rides, and festivals. Usually by this time my family has already been to a handful of fun events, but this year between my nieces busy social life of birthday parties, my new dating life, and other scheduling conflicts it has been more a challenge to get us all together, but we did it!  This past Sunday, it just happened that all of us were free and we took advantage of the moment and went to a harvest festival a few towns over.

My dad, nieces, and me waiting for the hayride

Well...it definitely wasn't as big as the promotion lead us to believe but we were together. The wind was blowing, but the sun was shining. 

My sister and me on the hayride...could you tell we are sisters?

My dad and brother-in-law hanging out on the hayride

They didn't have the best pumpkins to pick from, but we wandered around the fields and my nieces enjoyed saying ewww at every squished pumpkin. Some of the bushes had prickles on them, Kaitlyn helped me pick them off after. Maybe she will grow up and be a nurse like my sister. 

I'm pretty sure she was saying ewww look at that one!

We could have waited for the tractor to come back and get us from the field, but since we are a family that is healthy together these days we decided to would walk the rest of the way. Now I felt even better about the festival, I got my workout in for the day since I overslept that morning. 

Group shot my mom took from of us walking back

Not much else was really going on at the festival, but don't worry dad and I make any place fun! Oh look a wheelbarrow....

Who needs a festival of events when they had wheelbarrows
Good thing I lost some weight!

So the festival definitely wasn't the best one ever, and will probably not be one we attend next year, but we got to spend some time together walking around and laughing. Luckily they also didn't have much tempting festival food like funnel cake, french fries, and cookies so it didn't make it hard to resist. Since we were all hungry after the wind walking we decided to head over to a local restaurant and have a good dinner with plenty of healthy and delicious options for all of us to enjoy!  

This is called a warming up in the restaurant and excited for food selfie

To Wine or Not to Wine

No I am not talking about the type of whine you hear from me after an arms workout; I am talking about the wine made from grapes. I bet I have your attention now...

Wine makes me happy inside

When I started cleaning up my diet at the beginning of the year, I only wanted to eat and drink foods that I felt would be healthy and have nutritious benefits for my every day life. Alcohol didn't seem to fit into that category so I cut it out. I had a glass of wine on February 1 at a fire department function and didn't even have a sip for months after that.....until recently. 

Let me explain. Lately I have been thinking about maybe adding in a glass sometimes, I admit after a tough week it is nice to unwind with a good glass and relax your crazy week away. So I looked up the nutritional value and found that a 4 oz glass of Barefoot Moscato (I love Moscato) contains 120 calories and 11g of carbs. Hmm would it be worth it to consume my calories and carbs in the form of a drink that had really no big benefit to me drinking it except I enjoy it??

Hmm... I like the way this guy thinkshttp://www.stelladot.com/

And then last weekend happened...I had a date. I was sort of set up by a friend of a friend and for some reason I was nervous. You would think after so many dates, especially with being on match for a few months I wouldn't even be phased, but that night I was feeling my nervousness.  When we got to the restaurant I decided tonight would be a great night to slowly get back into drinking wine. I ordered my drink, very much aware that I hadn't had anything to drink in a while and I didn't want this to go to my head too quick, so I sipped extra slow and enjoyed. It tasted delicious and I admit it helped me to  relax just a little and enjoy the evening. We had fun that night and yes we have seen each other since. 

Ha ha, yup

I was pleased the next morning when the scale stayed the same, I wasn't feeling yucky at all, and I got right back into my workout routine. So here is my thinking, it's okay to have a little indulgence occasionally, as long as it's not something that will make you sick due to an allergy or sensitivity, and the rest of the time you eat and drink healthy and continue to workout. Moderation and balance is the key. 

I have no idea what the future holds with dating and the new guy, but I do know wine is now back in my life!

Mind Over Body For Success

Last week was my first full week back to the gym since the beginning of summer. I started with my new trainer Mark and made some new gym buddies. I loved being back in the gym atmosphere. I switched up my cardio a little to break away from my safe treadmill, have you ever heard of a seated elliptical? I definitely didn't until that day and now I love it. The guy next to me had to show me where all of the adjustments were, but once I got going I was hooked. The biggest change was the new trainer.  My first trainer when I joined the gym started off great and then went down hill, I wasn't sad when he was no longer at the gym, the next trainer was okay but definitely didn't keep me coming back for more (hello summer off). I spoke to the assistant manager before setting my appointment and after talking to her a few minutes she said she knew exactly who I should train with. I went with her gut and set the appointment. I am so happy I did.

I want working out to be a part of my every day life.
If I enjoy the process, I will come back for more

Mark is amazing!! I now workout with him two times a week. The first time we met it was mostly to go over food, my goals and expectations, took all of my measurements and even did my weight and body fat % (yikes). Next was our workout, it was tough, but I enjoyed it. For the first time I was sweating and feeling like I was really working towards my goal of not just weight loss, but overall tone and health. The next workout was arms...um ouch. What I really like about the workouts he teaches, is that I feel confident enough to go in and do it by myself on days I am not training with him. One the biggest reasons I had for getting a trainer was to learn how to do it on my own, without being afraid.

Knowledge is power...
When I am done with my training sessions,
I will know how to continue my workout success and not be afraid

I also love that he not only pushes me, but he encourages as well. He is such a positive influence and has this amazing energy to be around, he somehow even manages to keep me laughing throughout my workout. Last night's workout was legs. Mark pushed me to the point where my legs felt like jello and shaking all over. I was dripping with sweat and at one point was ready to give up. He wouldn't let me, he kept telling me to push myself, to do it for myself, I had it in me and not to give up. At that point, instead of thinking about my jello legs I concentrated on his words. I thought about my body and how I want it to look. I thought about all my hard work and how good it was feeling. I thought about not letting myself down and not letting him down. I could do and I did do it. I finished all my reps and went through the entire workout routine. I was exhausted, sweaty, and shaking, and couldn't have been more proud of myself. I also can not wait to workout with him again next week.

This is exactly how I felt walking this morning!!
At least I was laughing while trying to walk

I realized sometimes it's your mind letting you down, telling you to give up or you can't do something. I believe for the most part if we tell our mind to be quiet for a second, be positive instead of negative, and believe in ourselves you can accomplish anything!!

I'm not done until Mark says I am done,
 and then he tells me to do more

And yes my legs are hurting big time today, but I will still be in the gym this afternoon for my cardio routine telling my head to be quiet I can do it.

Excellent Egg Muffins

As you know, I love eggs! They can be cooked so many different ways, combined with different foods, and so filling. 

I started back at my gym this week, which feels painful and wonderful at the same time, and I wanted to try switching up my pre-workout snacks. I was looking for something full of good protein and fat, not too high in calories, and of course low carb. One of the trainers I was talking to suggested making egg muffins. Egg muffins!  Why didn't I think of that. They are so easy to make and I can stick a couple in a zipblock bag to take with me. Off I went food shopping...

Ingredients: 

(Makes 12 muffins)

10 eggs

1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

6-7 Broccoli florets

Salt

Pepper

Cooking Spray

Egg muffin ingredients; eggs, broccoli, cheese...sounds easy, because it is!

** You can use whatever cheese you like, and also add in any type of vegetable. I think next time I am going to try it with bacon added in. YUM! **

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit and spray the muffin tin with the cooking spray. 

Crack all 10 eggs in bowl. I like to crack the eggs first just in case some shells sneak past me I can get them out easier. 

Cracking the eggs and trying to not get any shells slip past me

Mix the eggs up and then it's time to add the 1 cup of cheese (add more or less to your tasting).

1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese added to the mixture

Since I am not the most professional or technical I just took a couple of broccoli florets and broke them apart with my fingers, it was quick and easy. Then just add your salt and pepper to taste.

Broccoli adds another level of nutrition and deliciousness

I used a 1/4 cup measuring spoon to make sure each muffin tin received the same amount of the mixture, it also helped me when figuring out the nutritional properties to enter into myfitnesspal. 

By using the measuring cup I knew exactly how much mixture
was going in each tin

Ready for the oven!

I set my timer for 15 minutes and was very excited to see how they turned out. Light and fluffy and delicious!!

Low calories, low carb, highly delicious egg muffins!

I love how easy they are to store!

These are an easy to store and quick to grab and go snack idea

I will definitely be making these again, just as soon I finish this first batch!