End of Year Shenanigans

I'm back!  Sorry it has been so long since my last post. I feel like these last few months of 2014 flew by. Thank you to my blogging buddy Gwen for reminding me to get my butt back here. For those of you who don't know Gwen she writes a blog called The Sunny Coconut. If you are looking for honest, sincere, and success please check out her page. When I am feeling blah I read her posts and they usually get me moving again.

Even with all the craziness I am proud to say I have kept up with my workouts and yes, counted ever calorie and carb that went in my body. Even wine. On days when I knew an afternoon workout wasn't possible I got up early to at least get a run in.

5:21 a.m. I took this photo as workout proof for
 trainer Mark that I got a run in

So what else have I been up to...

Work holiday party. This is now a favorite outfit!

No complaints about the food by me...yum!
I shared leftover with my dad later that night

Hanukkah! The best part of Hanukkah for me, is watching my nieces open there presents. Now that they are older and really appreciate things, the look on their faces makes me a big puddle of Aunt Cindy.

Hmm, yeah they got a few presents

Hanukkah selfie with my favorite girls

Can't forget a silly selfie

I think this is our first family photo in many years.
thank you to the Iphone timer feature

And just to add to my fun and shenanigans, I got to ride with my fire company and Santa around town. Still not sure who gets more excited about Santa coming around town the parents, the kids, or me.

Great people, fire trucks,
candy canes, Santa, a lot of fun and so many laughs!

That's the quick and fun of my last month. I know everyone is big on New Years Resolutions, but I must admit it's not my thing. I try and look at every day as an opportunity to grow and enjoy even the little things.  Something that I do like to do throughout the year is make goals. Big ones and small ones. So what are some my goals? I want to play more in the kitchen and share my ideas and yes even failures with you. My goal to health, fitness, and weight loss is an ongoing process.  I would also love to save up for a new camera so I can play around with my photography skills a little more and be creative. These are just a few.

I would like to thank all of you for reading my posts and wish you a very happy, healthy, and safe New Years!!

On a Quest for Protein

One of the biggest things I have come realize is the large role food plays in our daily lives. I don't just mean because it tastes good or stops your stomach from grumbling during a meeting. I have noticed how certain foods make me feel. Some fuel me for a workout while others make me want to take a nap. Finding the right food for me to eat before working out has become a large part of my journey. I have discovered some really good food options, check out my chicken in a can blog post for that delicious option, I absolutely love eating that on just my cardio days. On days when I train with Mark I am really pushing myself and started feeling like I need a little something extra. I asked around the gym and found a lot of people drink protein shakes or eat protein bars. The next time I was good shopping I checked some labels and was bummed. A lot of them are FULL of carbohydrates, high calories, made with soy, gluten, tons of sugar, and not what I wanted. There goes that idea I thought, until one day on twitter someone mentioned QuestBars. I decided to check them out and was very pleasantly surprised.

My favorite flavor of QuestBar
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

The QuestBars weren't full of sugar at all, low in calories, gluten free, low in carbs, not full of so many crazy ingredients that I can't even pronounce. I was excited, but thought how good could these taste. I found out they sell them at the GNC down the street and off I went. I picked up a bunch of different flavors like, chocolate chip cookie dough, cookies and cream, white chocolate raspberry, and apple pie. These are just a few of the flavors they offer. The next day before my workout with Mark I ate the chocolate chip cookie dough bar. I loved that I was able to eat it in the car on the way to the gym, my meeting ran late and I wouldn't have had time to sit down with a fork and eat anything else.  So how did it taste you ask?  DELICIOUS!!!!  I loved it. Perfect texture, perfect flavor, didn't leave a weird after taste or leave me craving for more sugar or bad stuff.  Now the big question...how did it hold up against a Mark workout? PERFECT!  I was well fueled throughout the workout and even earned the nickname tiny beast.  I now have a bar before every workout.

There are so many different delicious flavors for you to choose from
Trust me you won't get bored!

I tried most of the other flavors and have to say the chocolate chip cookie dough and cookies and cream bars are my favorite. I buy them by the box at GNC. I have also used them as a dessert substitute. There aren't many desserts I can enjoy these days without feeling yucky after or guilty. One night after having dinner with my family I felt a little blah because I wanted the dessert, but knew I would regret it. I remembered I had a bar stashed in my purse so I took it out and got to enjoy dessert with everyone else without feeling guilty. I wouldn't recommend doing that all the time as the bars are high in protein, but for the occasional treat with friends and family I say indulge and have fun.

The box description talked me into giving them a try
so very glad I did

For more information about the Quest bars and ingredients check out the Quest website at http://www.questnutrition.com/ingredients/

Disclaimer:  I am in no way affiliated with Quest. I just love their product and wanted to share my new favorite find!!

Holiday Weight Loss Determination

I know it's been a while since my last post, I'm sorry about that, the month flew and I got swept along with it. Unfortunately, that meant I didn't workout as much and some days I slacked in watching what I ate. The end result....no weight loss and hardly any inches lost. On the positive side, seeing the numbers not change has snapped me back into gear. With the holidays approaching I know it can be a scary time for those of us trying to get in shape and be healthy; parties, food, drinking, and crazy schedules.

True, so true!
http://www.shoestoshiraz.com/2014/11/fitness-and-me-through-ecards.html

I am not afraid this time around, I am determined! I will not let the winter blues sideline me, the parties are meant to be social and have fun not to eat all the food. Most important, my workouts!! I have my amazing trainer Mark, who keeps me constantly challenging myself and trying harder. The entire staff at the gym I go to is really fun to be around, I look forward to going and seeing every one. Tomorrow Mark and I are meeting to go over a plan and my goals for the next 6 months. I'm looking forward to it. I may have slacked last month, but this is a brand new month and the best present I can give myself, is taking care of me and not losing sight of that!!

You can't change the past, but you can use the knowledge you gained and grow from it!

How are you planning on staying healthy this holiday season?

More Than Weight Loss

A few months back when I starting eating healthier, working out, and reading labels, my plan was to mostly lose weight and feel less sluggish. I had no idea how many twists and turns this journey would lead me on and how much I would discover about myself along the way. 

Look inside yourself for the strength you need to keep moving forward

Now, my hard work means way more to me than just losing some weight. This journey has made me look deep within myself and wonder, what am I made? Who am I? What do I want for myself? While I don't have all the answers yet, I am way more aware of my thoughts and feelings. I realized I am a lot tougher than I even knew, both physically and mentally. 

Excuses are easy...being true to yourself takes commitment to yourself

I look back at how I have treated my body over the years and wonder why I disrespected myself so much. I ate terrible foods, didn't work out, was miserable in my own skin and never took solid action to change that. I would say I can't do it, I will never be a gym person, but I just want to eat what I want. Now I am learning to treat my mind, body and soul with respect. In some ways I feel like I am experiencing things for the first time with clear eyes. I don't want to eat the food that makes me feel sluggish inside, it might taste good, but I love myself enough to fight the urge. Now when I miss a day or two of working out I feel it and I miss it. I even decided to step out of my comfort zone to attend a conference to learn more about my job. In addition, I discovered I love to dress nicer, do my hair every day (unless it's raining), and take pride in who I am. It feels amazing!!

I love playing with different styles these days
I wore this dress to a wedding a few weekends ago

I don't let anyone else disrespect me why would I do that to myself. I'm sorry it took me so long to get here, but glad I finally have!  I'm sure I will have many more ups and downs along the way, but I believe if I stay strong and believe in myself I can achieve anything my heart desires.  

Self love is the biggest lesson I had learn and
never knew I was lacking

Be Honest With Yourself

Growing up my parent's taught us to be honest. If you did something you shouldn't have done own up to it, deal with the consequences, and move on. I have taken that teaching with me throughout my life. My close group of friends know that when they ask me a question they will get the truth, I will always try and word it nicely, but it will be the truth. Recently, I realized the one person I am not always honest to is myself.

It's not always easy, but it's the truth

I block, sugar coat, and ignore some of my own feelings and actions because I don't like how they feel. If I overeat on calories one day, I might happen to forget to enter them into myfitnesspal, almost as if I don't enter the information I didn't overeat and then I can look at the scale and wonder why did it go up. With dating, if I am with someone and they do something I may not like I will leave that story out when talking to my friends. If I don't talk about it, then it didn't bother me and all is right in the relationship. If I am feeling scared about something, but I say I am not, then I must be okay. You see what I mean?

I wouldn't trust a friend that didn't tell me the truth,
why should I trust myself if I can't tell myself the truth

It's okay to be scared. It's okay to fail sometimes. It's okay to be excited. The biggest lesson I am learning right now is being honest with myself. It's okay. Don't deny how something makes me feel just because I don't want to feel that way. Own my feelings with myself. I am not any more perfect than the next person. I can't grow as a person if I am not willing to know myself inside and out.

I want to know me the good, the bad, and the scared

Dating Highs and Lows

Time for a dating update post....

For those of you that are happily married can I just say I am jealous. 

If you are fortunate to have found the person
who became your last first date, I'm jealous. First dates are rough 

Dating is hard and I feel like dating is harder now that I am in my 30's for so many reasons. In the earlier dating years when I met a guy it was is he hot, does he have a nice tush, what type of car does he drive, does he have a job. Now I find myself thinking does he have a job, does he have lots of roommates or live at home with his parents, does he have kids and an ex-wife, can he pay his bills or will I be supporting him, does he want a family and yes the does he have a nice tush is still an important question.  Just to add to the questions, if you are looking online it's even more of a mystery if the guy you meet will match what he wrote and posted on the site. 

I believe this will happen for me someday.
My heart may have been broken before, but it has made me who I am today

Now for my personal update...I met someone through mutual friends. My friend and her husband played wingman and wingwomen for us. We text for about a month before we finally had time in both of our schedules to go out. The night was a lot of fun, we laughed a lot and he even sang some karaoke...yes the man can sing! We both didn't want the night to end, he didn't drop me off until about 4 am the next morning. I know I went to bed with a smile on my face.

Since that night it has been a mix of many emotions. When you are dating at this stage in life you both have a past, you both have other relationships, romantic and not, and things that stick with you. As much as you tell yourself to not let the past sneak in to your present thoughts, I honestly don't think it's possible not to. If you have been hurt before or let down, you notice everything the other person is doing. You wonder did I miss something last time and feel very determined not to miss it this time. I am guilty of all of that. I should have seen things in past relationships, or I did but I blocked and didn't want to admit them, and for that I got hurt and was angry with myself for not saying something sooner and especially for not walking away from the relationship before I could get hurt any further. I will say, that this guy has surprised me on many occasions, he is wonderful at talking and communicating and yes has even called me out on some of my behavior to make me aware and in return I have done the same for him. 

It's not fair to blame someone for what someone else did 

The scariest part is not what you see on the surface, it's what you feel deep inside as you start caring and liking someone more. You are opening your heart and being vulnerable, and hoping the person you care about will treat it right, that everything they tell you is the truth. Hoping that they are falling for you as you are falling for them. There is no secret to dating, there are no guarantees to any relationship; there is a lot of putting faith in the other person, hoping they will do right by you as you will by them, and trusting your own instincts. 

I don't have a crystal ball to know what will happen with the man in my life at this time. I hope we continue to grow together and enjoy everything we do. I can tell you my heart is open and while it's really scary, it's better than being closed off and missing the opportunity to find something special. 

Most important advice I ever received,
be yourself and be true to you

Have any good dating advice or stories please feel free to comment and share them!!

Fall Into Fun

Fall time...to me it means leaves changing, pumpkins, hay rides, and festivals. Usually by this time my family has already been to a handful of fun events, but this year between my nieces busy social life of birthday parties, my new dating life, and other scheduling conflicts it has been more a challenge to get us all together, but we did it!  This past Sunday, it just happened that all of us were free and we took advantage of the moment and went to a harvest festival a few towns over.

My dad, nieces, and me waiting for the hayride

Well...it definitely wasn't as big as the promotion lead us to believe but we were together. The wind was blowing, but the sun was shining. 

My sister and me on the hayride...could you tell we are sisters?

My dad and brother-in-law hanging out on the hayride

They didn't have the best pumpkins to pick from, but we wandered around the fields and my nieces enjoyed saying ewww at every squished pumpkin. Some of the bushes had prickles on them, Kaitlyn helped me pick them off after. Maybe she will grow up and be a nurse like my sister. 

I'm pretty sure she was saying ewww look at that one!

We could have waited for the tractor to come back and get us from the field, but since we are a family that is healthy together these days we decided to would walk the rest of the way. Now I felt even better about the festival, I got my workout in for the day since I overslept that morning. 

Group shot my mom took from of us walking back

Not much else was really going on at the festival, but don't worry dad and I make any place fun! Oh look a wheelbarrow....

Who needs a festival of events when they had wheelbarrows
Good thing I lost some weight!

So the festival definitely wasn't the best one ever, and will probably not be one we attend next year, but we got to spend some time together walking around and laughing. Luckily they also didn't have much tempting festival food like funnel cake, french fries, and cookies so it didn't make it hard to resist. Since we were all hungry after the wind walking we decided to head over to a local restaurant and have a good dinner with plenty of healthy and delicious options for all of us to enjoy!  

This is called a warming up in the restaurant and excited for food selfie