Your Pride and Weight Loss

I wasn't heavy right away but by the time I was 12 I had become the kid that offered to clean the table after dinner in an effort to eat my sister's leftover Big Mac; and Dad if you are reading this I'm sorry everyone blamed you for eating that egg roll, it was me.

Nothing better than being a kid and enjoying it

I was about 15 in the picture and
I think wearing a size 14 in jeans

It wasn't until my late teens/early twenties I knew I had to stop my bad habits. I hated being heavier than everyone else.  And so my ongoing journey to weight loss started. I tried every diet, every method, anything and everything I could think of. I would gain and lose weight on and off for years, then about about 4 years ago I lost a lot of weight by doing Nutrisystem. I was the thinnest I had ever been and loving it. I was able to keep the weight off the longest I had ever done in the past, but between not paying attention to what I was eating, some bad breakups, and food tasting good I gained it all back and then some. This bring me to a few months ago when I knew I had lose it again...but this time everything I had always done in the past wasn't working. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to lose it this time and would just keep gaining.

Me at my thinnest and feelings great

I was feeling more and more frustrated. Throughout the last few months I was able to take off a bunch of the weight I had gained, by eating non-processed foods, cutting out gluten, and really decreasing my sugar intake, but then I hit the dreaded plateau. I was stuck. Up and down, eating and doing the same things I had been doing, were no longer working. My jeans weren't feeling that loose anymore. I finally asked my sister for advice. She recently lost weight and looks absolutely amazing!!  I am so proud of her and all her hard work. There we were talking with my mom about what I was going through and I found myself getting really defensive. Even though I was the one who asked for help. I just kept saying I have been doing this most of my life, this isn't my first time! Okay, I admit sounds completely childish, but it's how I was feeling, insecure. After taking a step back my from my defensive state of mind, my sister explained to me that she knew I had always worked on myself and how weight loss has always been a struggle with me especially now with food sensitivities and obstacles. She thanked me for all my help, knowledge and support I have been giving her that helped her lose weight. She went on to say that by possibly giving me a new and fresh prospective from someone other than myself it might help give me ideas and possibly get me out of my rut. And she was right. We sat there and talked about different foods, snacks, workout ideas and how to make it work with my schedule. I guess even in dieting you can't live in the past, but have to live in the present and look forward to what lies ahead...hopefully that includes a smaller size in pants. My sister helped me gain a new perspective and feel confident that I will succeed.

I love my sister and
 I am happy she always looks out for me even when I am acting like a little sister

I'm really glad I opened up about my struggles and asked for help....I am even happier that I told my pride to be quiet long enough to hear her ideas and receive the new perspective I was in need of.  Don't be afraid to ask for an outside opinion and ideas from someone you trust and respect. You just never know what great ideas they might be able to share with you to help you succeed.

Crockpot to the Rescue

This week has been busy! Fun, but busy. Sunday is my day to usually do the food shopping and cooking for the week. I really love being prepared and knowing the I will something to eat for every meal. I know that more "ugh why did I eat that" moments happen when I am not prepared. My usual Sunday turned into a really fun creative day. My mom and dad have been changing and redoing rooms on and off with lots of DIY (do it yourself) projects. My sister and I headed over for this weeks project of updating photos and hang frames. I admit I left the designing to them, but helped with picking out photos. Like most projects once you start it's too fun to stop and it also turned into a fun family dinner when my brother in law came over to help too.

Beginning of the DIY photo hallway

Fast forward to Monday morning. I am in the kitchen having breakfast before work when I realize I only have enough cooked food for lunch. I was also supposed to have plans to meet up with Debbie for coffee later that night. Not leaving me much time to cook. And then I heard my crockpot calling my name from the cabinet. I pulled it out with a plan. I grabbed a chuck steak from the freezer and placed it in. No need to remember to defrost the extra moisture from being frozen just makes it that much juicers as it cooks. I cut up some garlic, sprinkled some salt and pepper, and put in a couple of teaspoons of butter. I know, I know, you are saying BUTTER? That's what I said to my mom when she first told me how to make this meal, but trust me it works and it's delicious! I put the lid on and set the crockpot for 8 hours on low.

I found neat garlic tip...
After you cut off the end, put the flat end of the knife on top and push down lightly.
This helps you peel the garlic so much quicker!! 

It is as easy as it sounds
Place chuck in crockpot/garlic/butter, cook, and enjoy

I came home for lunch and let me tell you my place smelled amazing. I was drooling just thinking about my dinner.

Lunch time check in...I didn't want to open the lid and release the heat
but you can see it getting delicious and juicy

Finally home after a busy Monday and was really happy I had remembered to use my crockpot. I roasted up some broccoli and had a complete, healthy, low carb dinner meal with enough for leftovers during the week. Thank you crockpot and my mom for teaching me her meal ideas.

Finished crockpot chuck steak!

My finished low carb/paleo dinner
The meat came out so juicy and tender.
I was full after eating, good thing Debbie and I only got coffee

Light a Fire Under Yourself and Workout!

This past week I got to do a live fire training drill at our fire county academy with my department. Again, I am not a firefighter. I do not go inside. What I do is help out the department behind the scenes, offering support. In addition I do photography. A lot of people ask me why I take the photos? My answer, I am not like reporters trying to take pictures of just the bad/scary stuff, I take pictures of the men and women who risk their lives to save people, homes, and memories. Those men and women should be proud of themselves and I want to give them a glimpse to see what the rest of us see and how truly amazing they are. A few years ago after a particularly large fire, I gave a photo to firemen from another company. He had been a firefighter for most of his life and he was an older gentleman. When I saw him next he brought me over to his gear rack to show me he framed and displayed the picture above it. He hugged and thanked me for that memory. It was a really amazing feeling. I have also been able to work with police departments,who have used my photos in their files when working on cases related to the accident or fire. Families have contacted me for photos to give to their insurance company to help them out. I have been very fortunate to work with some of the amazing men and women.

Spring 2014, house fire.
Everyone got out safe. 

Crews working hard to put it out the fire.
It's all about TEAMWORK!

When we are at the academy I wear firefighter turnout gear as added protection. Last year was my first year with my new fire company and I had to get a set from them. Since I don't go in and I don't need the same level as protection; I typically get the stuff that the active firemen can't wear anymore due to rips, tears, overuse. Which means....you get what is available and hope it fits. Somehow they managed to get me a full set. The pants were a little snug, the jacket was large, but the boots were just right. I got to go to the drill with them. As I walked around snapping my pictures I felt like I was dragging my body in all the gear. I didn't want to climb the trucks for higher up shots. I know I missed out on some amazing photos because I couldn't move quick enough. Good thing I wasn't inside fighting the fire! I was so sore and tired the next day.

Being fitted for turnout gear with my new company

One year later....

This past week when I had to put on my gear I noticed the pants were super loose, I needed the suspenders to hold them up! The jacket was ginormous making me feel like I was playing dress up in my dad's gear. Even the boots were looser. I was so excited!! I was all over that drill grabbing pictures and moments to share with the company. I wasn't dragging myself or tired after at all. I know this is all due to my hard work over the last year. Eating better, working out, taking care of myself. It was the most wonderful and proud feeling. It may have also opened up the door for a new opportunity to work with an incredible, well respected man in the fire community. I will talk about that more if it pans out, but let's just say I hope it does and I am in the gym stepping up my workout routine so I can keep up, grab the photos, and it doesn't hurt to look good while doing it!

Live training this past week.
Crews inside working

Live training this past week
Training teams working together and learn new techniques

Diet and Dating Update #1

Well I finally gave in and decided to take a more proactive roll in my dating life. I joined an online dating site. I figured why not. I did in a few years ago and met some people, but nothing really ever stuck. When I was thinking about all the people I know who have meet their now boyfriends/fiances/husbands from online dating I was inspired to give it a shot as well.  For those of you who have never online dated, let me just say, it is not for the weak! Emails, winks, likes, interests where do you look first. Trying to weed through all the different men who contacted me, figuring out if I like what they said in their profile and if I believed them.  I started really talking to these 2 guys last week. First it was emails back and forth and then text and phone calls. The one guy I seemed to hit it off more with than the other guy so when he asked me out to dinner on a Saturday night I gladly accepted.  And then it happened...I went what should I eat!?!? In my post  Dating and Dieting Dilemmas, I talk about being nervous about what to eat and how some people are quick to criticize and judge.

Funny, this thought has actually crossed my mind

Turns out it was easier than I thought. He asked me to pick a place, so I found one in the middle for both of us and I knew they at least had good burgers. I met my date at the restaurant and at this point I was super nervous and was also excited with myself for knowing what I was eating and having a plan. We went in and talked, turns out our chemistry on the phone ended when we hung up the phone. I was disappointed it didn't work out, but I was extremely proud of myself for trying and putting myself out there. The best part of the whole evening was the hamburger I ordered with the size of veggies, it was delicious!!  I walked away feeling proud of myself for not trying to settle with the first man I went out with and having a plan of what to eat. The planning part made me feel good and know I was putting myself first.

What happened to the second guy you ask... well after talking to him a few more times I realized we didn't have much in common and he didn't like animals. Saying that to an animal lover, especially when I have that on my profile, sort of takes the air of out a possible date. Instead of meeting him for coffee on Sunday, like originally planned, I spent the day goofing around with my nieces and having the best date ever!

My fashionista niece Kaitlyn, trying on hats

My nieces love when we take silly selfies

Best dates ever are with my nieces!!  I love these girls!

Ashley had enough of our shenanigans,
 so it was just Kaitlyn and I being silly

The date didn't go as planned, but I did eat low carb and healthy, just the way I like it. I am not giving up on dating and in fact I am talking to another gentleman over email, who at least likes animals and seems to have a great sense of humor, and now I know if he asks me out to dinner I am better prepared to eat smart and just enjoy...hopefully...More to come....

It's Not a Diet It's My Future

I have black hair and brown eyes, my sister has brown hair and hazel eyes, my coworker has blond hair and blue eyes. We are a mix of tall, short, big, skinny. We are all uniquely different inside and out; so why should we all follow the same advice to lose weight and be healthy? There are tons of articles, diets, and books out there telling us how we must only eat a certain way to achieve maximum weight loss and healthy results and that all the other diets are wrong. I have read so many over them years I could probably write a combined book. It got me so confused at one point I starting thing....if we are all different inside and out why will the same diet and eating habits work for everyone equally?

Be unique and be true to yourself inside and out

A few years ago I did Weight Watchers, I gained weight. My friend Debbie did it and lost a ton of weight and continues to lose weight and love the program. We did it exactly the same. So why did she drop weight and I gained and felt sluggish? Because we are different. Our bodies are hardwired (that is my scientific term) different. Over the years my mom and I have realized that carbs and sugar are our kryptonite. Eating those can mess up our bodies pretty quick and the recovery time is very very slow. I am talking sugar coma for days just from a small intake, stomach that gets bloated and puffy and overall feeling of yuck. We stick to a low carbohydrate, low sugar, healthy fat eating routine, similar to primal eating/paleo/Atkins. I also now read labels and get pretty grossed out seeing what is in some processed foods. Now on the other hand, my dad and sister can eat pretty much whatever they desire, no problem, and as long as they watch their calories they lose weight and feel good. They are slowly learning about reading labels as well.

No cookies for me...
I am going to leave the cookies to Cookie Monster

So what is my point? My point is we are all uniquely designed inside and out. I don't recommend cutting out all food groups, but I do recommend being in touch with your body. Take notice how you feel after eating certain foods. It's a trial and error sort of thing and of course balance. Too much of anything, no matter how healthy or wonderful is not always a good thing. Be patient with yourself and be willing to learn. Maybe your body just needs a limitation in calories, but maybe you need more than that, maybe less sugar or carbs or dairy. Being open to finding out what my body needs and wants has showed me a whole new world. I still have ups and downs, and thanks to being a girl I get those crazy hormone cravings, but I have learned a lot about my body and when those moments creep up on me I feel like I handle them a little better each time. The conclusion I came to is that taking the time to learn about my body, explore foods, read research and invest in myself is more important than just a diet and weight loss, this is about my health and my future.

I hope I can teach my nieces all that I have learned from my
health journey while they are young.

Healthy Feel Good Vibes

In the past whenever I went on a diet and tried to lose weight I would make deals with myself, like if I lost 5 lbs by a certain date I would treat myself to a manicure or buy some new clothes. I have to admit most of the time I didn't make my goal and then usually felt way worsen and usually buried my disappointment in a package of oreos. This time has been totally different.

About a week after joining the gym and really getting into fitness I started noticing how cute some of the women looked. Sure they were sweaty hot messes, but they looked darn good. I looked down at my normal outfit of baggy pants and a plain shirt and felt frumpy. For those of you who can relate, do we agree that is not the best feeling and definitely not motivating? I decided it was time to change that. Since I was on a pretty tight budget I headed to Walmart and hit the jackpot!!  I found pants that came in different lengths, I am short so that is a big deal. I found some really nice and great quality tank tops and shirts. I had so much fun trying them on and picturing myself working out in them. I still get excited when I put on a cute outfit to go workout. After another few paychecks I got myself a new pair of sneakers. I loved putting them on and knowing I was going to break them in with every step I took. The purchases were not for not for anyone to compliment me or comment, they were for me to smile every time I used them, too look forward to using them, and to feel good while doing something good for myself.

Just a couple of the Danskin tanks and pants I got at Walmart.
That's Abby in background helping model

ASICS Women's Gel-Unifire TR Training Shoe
I had a lot of fun breaking them in

One of my best friends is trying to lose weight and when we were talking the other day she seemed so blah and down about herself. I told her to treat herself to something that makes her feel good inside. I noticed that when I take care of me I want to continue to take care of me. When I feel good in my own skin it makes me motivated to continue to work harder. The next day she told me she made a healthy breakfast for herself, first time in a long time and was going to get her nails done, again first time in a while. I was so proud of her, finally stepping up and ready to take care of herself. We even talked about meeting up at one of the parks this week to go walking together.

Hardest lesson I had to learn, but best lesson

I realized it's not about spending money or showing off, it's about what makes you feel good and treating yourself special. Buy some pretty measuring cups or get a hair cut. It's anything that makes you smile, so that every time you go to take care of yourself you remember the feeling. You look forward to your new workout clothes, new measuring cups, or even having your nails done.

Why should we only reward ourselves when we hit a goal. I'm not saying go shopping every day but occasionally treat yourself nice and remember you are important. Everyday that you get up and keep trying and working towards a healthy fit you is a success!!

Lucille Ball put it perfectly!
 Love yourself first!!

Dating and Dieting Dilemmas

For all my single friends out there I bet just seeing the word dating made you do a little mental cringe. I know some people say dating is fun and you can meet new people, but my feelings have become more of where oh where is my prince charming already. Now don't get me wrong, I am perfectly happy living the single life, but it would be nice to share with someone.

Saw this on Pinterest. I got a good laugh from it

Oh the dating stories I could tell you...there was the guy that asked me to take my shoes off before getting in his car, the one who talked so much about himself he forgot my name, and my favorite story of the guy who didn't bring cash to the ice cream place, when he found out they didn't accept credit cards he threw a very loud tantrum, yes foot stomping and all and wouldn't let me buy his ice cream for him. Okay I could go on for hours with those stories and I have a feeling there are many similar stories out there (please feel free to share).

Love my friends, but yeah, this is totally me at times

For me going out was always a mix of emotions.  Will he like me, will I like him, and if I met him online...will he even look like his picture. Now I am adding my healthy habits into the mix. What will I eat and drink. I now suggest coffee for first dates because I don't really drink. I went out on a date not too long ago and ordered a burger (took off the bun) and steamed veggies on the side. He wanted me to try his pasta dish. I thanked him, but politely declined and explained nicely that me and pasta are not friends. He got all insulted, even when I explained to him it would hurt my stomach and I just preferred eating lower carb foods, he replied with oh come on just this once. I won't even tell you his reaction when I didn't want to split his giant brownie sundae dessert with him. Needless to say, we didn't go out again.

Okay men, this should go for women too, show me the womanfax

I took a little break from dating, but I am back in the dating scene, looking for someone special in my life to have fun with and who won't give me a hard time for wanting to be healthy, I would really like to me someone who wants to join me on my journey. Dating is complicated enough, but figuring out how to do it while remaining healthy and staying on the weight loss path seems to be a little more challenging. I would love any suggestions from people going through this or have already gone through it and met there match who likes them for them and not the dessert they order or not.

Sometimes you just have to keep trying...cooking and dating

Hmmm.....Maybe I should forget online dating and start looking in the grocery store so I can see what they eat first.

Slow Progress is Still Progress

I wish the scale and my body would figure out faster how hard I am working to be healthy and lose weight. Dropping weight quickly has never been in the cards for me, but now that I know certain things like sugar, too many carbs, and not enough good fat were slowing me down, I have been making progress, but oh so slow. I look at some people who can cut back just a little and poof the pounds fade off, I admit I get jealous of them. I think about all of the cookies, Doritos, french fries, pizza I am not eating and how my progress is still slow. I'm pretty sure I am not the only one out there feeling like this. There has to be someone out there thinking I didn't eat the darn chips at the party why can't my pants fit just a little better. In my make believe world  I think you should lose an inch just for NOT eating all of that, wouldn't that be nice!? Too bad it doesn't work like that. 

So there I was getting dressed this morning with the above thoughts in my head and then really looked again in the mirror. Sure I wish it would happen quicker and I would wake up one day with six pack abs and be able to eat cookies, but yeah I don't think that's my reality. Then I switched up my thoughts, I thought about where I was this time last year. Struggling so much. Crying that my shorts from the previous summer no longer fit, all the weight I had lost in the past I put back on and then some. Wearing clothes that didn't make me feel good inside but the got the job done of covering me up, and always tired. This summer, I am still not able to wear the little shorts from previous summers, but I am wearing smaller ones and cute shirts to show off my hard work, I have energy to workout and chase my nieces around the field. I never gave up on myself. I am always adjusting and reevaluating. Trying new things and willing myself to keep trying. It would be so easy to eat the cookies, but the aftermath wouldn't be easy, because for me, it is not just one cookie, it is one BAG of cookies. Instead of spending time pouting about my slow progress this morning, I flipped it and thought about how far I have come and that felt great!  

We all have that one picture that
inspires us to step up and take charge.
This was mine, I felt miserable in my own skin

I wish I could show you more pictures of me before but I can't. I was not only a master at wearing clothes that would hide me, but I was also a master at hiding from the camera. The picture above is after I already lost a little, but really lit a fire under my butt and got me moving and eating better. 

These pics are about 4 months apart

The pictures on the left is me getting ready to start working out for the first time in years!

The picture above is my first progress comparison photo. This time I decided to take pictures along the way so I can SEE the progress. It's a slight difference but enough that makes me remember why I am doing this every day. You know the saying..Every little bit counts, well I say that is so true!

Be proud of your progress no matter how small or slow!!