Dating Highs and Lows

Time for a dating update post....

For those of you that are happily married can I just say I am jealous. 

If you are fortunate to have found the person
who became your last first date, I'm jealous. First dates are rough 

Dating is hard and I feel like dating is harder now that I am in my 30's for so many reasons. In the earlier dating years when I met a guy it was is he hot, does he have a nice tush, what type of car does he drive, does he have a job. Now I find myself thinking does he have a job, does he have lots of roommates or live at home with his parents, does he have kids and an ex-wife, can he pay his bills or will I be supporting him, does he want a family and yes the does he have a nice tush is still an important question.  Just to add to the questions, if you are looking online it's even more of a mystery if the guy you meet will match what he wrote and posted on the site. 

I believe this will happen for me someday.
My heart may have been broken before, but it has made me who I am today

Now for my personal update...I met someone through mutual friends. My friend and her husband played wingman and wingwomen for us. We text for about a month before we finally had time in both of our schedules to go out. The night was a lot of fun, we laughed a lot and he even sang some karaoke...yes the man can sing! We both didn't want the night to end, he didn't drop me off until about 4 am the next morning. I know I went to bed with a smile on my face.

Since that night it has been a mix of many emotions. When you are dating at this stage in life you both have a past, you both have other relationships, romantic and not, and things that stick with you. As much as you tell yourself to not let the past sneak in to your present thoughts, I honestly don't think it's possible not to. If you have been hurt before or let down, you notice everything the other person is doing. You wonder did I miss something last time and feel very determined not to miss it this time. I am guilty of all of that. I should have seen things in past relationships, or I did but I blocked and didn't want to admit them, and for that I got hurt and was angry with myself for not saying something sooner and especially for not walking away from the relationship before I could get hurt any further. I will say, that this guy has surprised me on many occasions, he is wonderful at talking and communicating and yes has even called me out on some of my behavior to make me aware and in return I have done the same for him. 

It's not fair to blame someone for what someone else did 

The scariest part is not what you see on the surface, it's what you feel deep inside as you start caring and liking someone more. You are opening your heart and being vulnerable, and hoping the person you care about will treat it right, that everything they tell you is the truth. Hoping that they are falling for you as you are falling for them. There is no secret to dating, there are no guarantees to any relationship; there is a lot of putting faith in the other person, hoping they will do right by you as you will by them, and trusting your own instincts. 

I don't have a crystal ball to know what will happen with the man in my life at this time. I hope we continue to grow together and enjoy everything we do. I can tell you my heart is open and while it's really scary, it's better than being closed off and missing the opportunity to find something special. 

Most important advice I ever received,
be yourself and be true to you

Have any good dating advice or stories please feel free to comment and share them!!