Ups and Downs

Usually when I talk about ups and downs in the weight loss world I am referring to the numbers I see on the scale; however, this time it's about the daily journey. Over the last few months I have dedicated a lot of time to learning about food, exercise, and being healthier. Only over the last few weeks have I felt like I was finally on the right path. I had a better understanding of what different carbs and sugar could do to my body. I learned what happens when I cut out all carbs and workout, not a pretty picture. I learned to make going to the gym a fun habit and walking around my town something to look forward to on weekends. I was feeling pretty good about it all and then....

A few weeks ago was Memorial Day. I woke up and went for a long walk since I had the day off. It was a refreshing and invigorating walk. I reflected on the past weekend and how for the first time in months, and I mean months, I stayed within a good calorie range. I didn't over eat, I didn't over indulge, but I was satisfied and did enjoy myself. I did all that on holiday weekend, yeah I was feeling pretty darn proud.  

Early morning lake view from my walk

My family and I went to the parade in town and I shared a delicious ice cream with my sister, who also recently lost a bunch of weight and looks amazing.  So where is the down part you ask?  Well, on our way back to the car my adorable 3, almost 4 year old, niece looks up at me with her big brown eyes and tells me her legs are tired from walking. So I pick her up and walk with her on my hip. My mom and sister both told me not to since I have suffered from back problems in the past, but nope,  her legs were tired and she knows her Aunt is a big sucker for her, so onward we went.  Later that evening I knew I had made a big mistake. My back was screaming in pain and as the night went on it just got worse and I found myself crying to my mom why didn't I just listen to them. 

Getting ready for the parade

Here I was, I had been so good with the gym loving it, I was up and about and enjoying every moment and now I was down on the couch hoping to walk straight the next day. I woke up and decided I could crawl to work or be smart and take the day off. Thankfully I have an amazing boss and I was able to take the day to recover. As I sat on the couch, I felt bad for myself. What about all my hard work at the gym, what about how good I was doing? Then it hit me. Sure I might be down and out for this week, but I will be back in the gym in no time. And even more motivated to strengthen my muscles and tone myself so things like this don't happen again. I must stay strong and fight on. Let my body heal up and then make it better than ever before.

Sharing some ice cream 

So sure I miss the gym and wish I was going, but this has taught me once again how incredible the human body is and how important it is to take care of it. And also how important it is to remain positive. It's hard, but it's better than being negative and making yourself more upset and probably doing more bad than good.  I saw this online and thought it was appropriate for my post today. I'm not sure who said it, but I agree with them 100%

Cindy 

Finding My Health and My Voice

For the most part I am not a very shy person. I love meeting new people and going to new places, but on this journey to being a healthier person I have discovered that I have a shy side, I am not very good at asking for help, and rarely ask for custom treatment. 

Let's start with the gym. I walked in determined, but quickly realized I was only finding myself determined to use the stationary bike. The side of the gym with the weights seemed a bit foreign to me. I decided it was time to change that, if I was truly committed to me and my health I needed to learn to lift weights. So I got myself a trainer. Within a week he had me on different equipment and trying new things. I found myself asking him to teach me more. Telling him pieces of equipment I liked to use and ones I really didn't enjoy because it bothered some part of my body. Thankfully he is a very patient person and has a sense of humor. Yesterday, I was feeling, well, blah from realizing I still have such a long way to go. He stopped the workout and asked me to talk to him and tell him my thoughts. And for once I did. I really talked to him about the gym, my goals, my fears, all of it. He got me to express everything going on in my head and made me feel better about the gym and about myself.  He helped me put together an even better plan based off of what I told him and reminded me to always speak up for myself.  I now have a bunch of great lifting and cardio plans that I can rotate from day to day.  

The other area I found my voice is when eating out and with people. I never wanted to be that picky person who says I want things cooked this way or order something specially made. I have come to realize those people aren't necessarily picky, they are just looking out for themselves, and I want to be one of them. Now I order veggies and sauces on the side instead of fries and food being smothered. I also speak up more when people ask me where I want to go, it's no longer wherever works, because some places have healthier choices and are more accommodating I would rather go there. 

I never thought I would learn so much about myself in this effort to become a better, healthier version of me. I feel like every day I discover something new and it feels amazing inside. I'm so glad I started this journey and look forward to discovering more. 

Cindy  

Every Day New Start

I've been dieting for as long as I can remember, the scale goes up and down. But now I am doing more than trying to get skinny; I am trying to get healthy overall. I found out a few years ago that I have PCOS, which messes with my insulin levels. I also learned that trying to ignore it will not make it go away. A few months ago I decided to go low carb, like say 20 carbs a day. It went okay. I lost a few pounds. Yay. My best friend, Debbie, encouraged me to join a gym, so off I went to join and discovered I loved it!! I started working out a minimum of 3 days a week 30 minutes and built up from there and got myself trainer. I started to notice that after the gym my energy levels were non-existent and as the days went on I was clumsy (more than usual), lacked energy, and incredibly grumpy. I found myself one miserable early morning searching my kitchen for something and found a box of cheerios I had stashed. I can not tell you how much I loved every single cheerio bite!  When I told Debbie, about eating the cheerios and the last few weeks she explained to me that my body needed more carbs for energy. The right carbs. She helped me figure out I was actually doing more harm than good.  

I've spent the weeks since then adding in carbs, the right ones as she put it.  I felt so much better. My energy levels were through the roof. I felt like I could workout better and stronger and wanted to. I even had energy after my workout. But lately I noticed I was craving more and more sugary things. I looked back in my tracker and realized my carb intake had sky rocketed. Noticed it a little too late. Last night I was sitting on my couch and started getting a headache, then the cravings, oh how I hate to admit this, I became a crazy women searching for anything and everything chocolate. Next thing I knew I was sitting on the kitchen floor with a bag of unmade cookie dough picking out the chocolate chips. I hit rock bottom. I went to bed feeling even worse.

I woke up this morning with renewed ideas. I had to get my carbs and sugar under control. Yes there is good and really bad carbs, but for some, carbs and sugar are way more dangerous and need to be carefully kept in check. But most importantly I realized that every single day that I get up and regroup and try again is a success. The scale might not think so and my pants may yell at me tomorrow, but they will thank me again, because I am not going to give up on myself. I am worth it.

Remember that as long as you try every day, prepare healthy meals, workout a little harder and keep going you are a success and please don't ever give up on yourself. I know I won't.

Cindy 

Welcome to My World

Hi my name is Cindy. I decided to write this blog because one night my mom said to me "you are a real girl who has a lot to talk about, go share!" And here I am. So a little about me...I am a 30 year old single gal trying to figure out this crazy life one day at a time. I have a great family who I am very close with, I own my condo (5 years in April) with two cats as roommates (no I am not the crazy cat lady), my town is pretty small (secrets and private life..what's that?), I have a full time job (in the same town), I do volunteer work with a nearby fire department (I am not a firefighter), and I love Moscato wine.

Growing up I thought by now I would have solved all of life's biggest problems and had time left over for a manicure. Fast forward to today and I have no clue what I am doing half the time, but I am willing to learn. A couple of weeks ago my toilet wouldn't stop running, what's my first reaction you ask...I stared at it and hoped it would stop. When that didn't work I called my parents for backup at 6 a.m. (good thing they are patient and love me). They helped me through it step-by-step. I've discovered that no matter how prepared you think you are, life has a way of showing you differently. Don't get me wrong that's not always a bad thing, sometimes the random things can be fun too. A few years ago a coworker of mine dragged me to an event (yes kicking and screaming), but it was at that event I met someone new (my best friend Debbie) and had a really great time.

2013 was a pretty intense year. My family had some health related difficulties, some long time trusted friends became the people who evil characters in movies and TV shows are based off of, I had a crazy transition to a new job, and found out I had a gluten intolerance. But the lows also came with some of the most amazing highs. My family, who has always been tight, became even tighter, a force to be reckoned with. We battled the health difficulties and the bad guys together. We laughed, we cried, and we grew. I joined my current firehouse and met some really amazing people, who I now get to call friends. I got a new boss at work, who is a really amazing person to work for. One of those rare bosses who makes you want to go to work everyday and shine to make them proud to have you on their team. I finally knew why I wasn't feeling good and start learning how to get my body and health back on track (I will write about that in future posts). Oh and I can't forget the plenty of dating stories, but the best feeling was finally moving on from an ex that was lingering in my life.

One of the biggest things I learned is that yes things happen, but how you handle it and react is more important than anything else. I remember when my taxes went up after I moved in. I called my mom crying. I had no idea how I was going to pay the skyrocketed amount. I was sitting on my kitchen floor (I go there when I am upset, don't ask me why) and she said to me it's okay to be upset for a minute, but then pick yourself up and figure it out. You have two choices lay on the floor crying and nothing will change or get up and be strong, make it happen. So I got up. A few weeks later I was offered a part-time freelancing job for an internet newspaper. Being strong and getting up is half the battle, I think the other half is having faith and believing it will work out for the best somehow.

I have so much more to share and I hope this blog gets out there in the world. I know for me, it is sometimes nice to know I am not alone in dealing with things, the good and the bad. No one has all the answers all the time.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope you will come back and read more of my crazy journey Living Life without a User Manual.

Cindy

My Roommates

Abby

Chelsea